Thursday, March 31, 2011

What's LOVE Got To Do With It? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken???

Tina, I couldn't have said it better myself!  I mean, really.  Why bother?

 I think it's safe to say that we have all had our hearts broken at least once in our life.  Most of the time we KNOW when our hearts are being broken. It's real and in our face at the moment of impact. Other times it's a slow process.  We don't realize the damage until years later; often when we are trying to heal from something else.  I never realized how broken my heart had been having an alcoholic father who loved his drink more than he loved me. God had sent me the most wonderful "step dad" to fill that earthly void so growing up I was able to ignore the pain by filling the void with the love of my "dad".  The actual trauma to my heart didn't become apparent until I had to face being abandoned by my husband.  What I had perceived as a scarred heart all these years, was actually an open wound merely covered by a battle dressing.

As a wound works to heal itself, pustulent clings desperately to the bandage for healing and rejuvenation. However, when a bandage is applied without a proper cleaning and medication, it merely hides the festering infection that grows underneath until the pain becomes so overwhelming that the only option is to remove the bandage and doctor the infection for relief.  Removing the bandage causes even more pain as the clinging bandage takes tissue with it, leaving an exposed, raw, gaping wound; much worse than the original.
If this is what love lost does to the heart, then why bother? Knowing how excruciating this pain is, how do I protect my children from it? Why take the chance again with my own heart?

During our Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we were discussing how Elisha longed for a double portion of Elijah's spirit.  We went around sharing what we would like to have a double portion of in each other.  My sweet friend, who is also a single mom, made the comment that she would like to have a double portion of my strength.  She added, "I don't know how you do it.  If I had to deal with all you have had to deal with, I'd be in a mental institution!" We all laughed and through the laughter, everyone seemed to agree with her.  I was taken back because when looking at each of these women, I see so much strength that it overwhelms me! And there they were, wanting a double portion of my strength.  The "I don't know how you do it" comment stayed with me.  The answer is simple. 

The very element that caused the hurt is the ONE and ONLY medication that will heal it.  Isn't that so like God??? 

The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  He uses love most often to bring us down because he knows the power that love holds.  He twists and molds our perception of love until it's like looking at carnival mirrors and eventually the distorted image seems normal.  We end up removing shards of broken images from our flesh as we foolishly follow the sound of the enemy's voice leading us into yet another fun house full of distorted mirrors.
I see it battered women who stay with their abusers because they believe that's what love looks like.  I see it in teenagers who take their own life because the one they love decided to love another.  But I also see it in myself when I doubt my own self worth.

                                         So how can love destroy and heal at the same time?

Love doesn't destroy. The enemy does.  He knows the power of LOVE because LOVE cast him out of Heaven.  LOVE was nailed to a cross along with all of our sins.  LOVE busted open the gates of hell and rose victorious! The enemy knows that LOVE will come again. 

How do we truly heal? The Word tells us that we are to be imitators of Christ.  If Christ IS Love, how do we reflect that?

1 Corinthians 13 defines love for us.  Before that, it emphasises how important and powerful love truly is.  It tells us that we could have faith that moves mountains, but without love, we are NOTHING.  We could speak in the language of the angels but without love, we may as well be blabbering idiots!  So what is love?

4 Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud.
 5 It does not dishonor others,
 it is not self-seeking,
 it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
 7 It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
 always perseveres. 
 8 Love never fails.
The chapter ends with:
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
 But the greatest of these is love.

Love is patient, love is kind: The Lord is so patient with me and my fleshly tendencies and I need to be reminded of this when my patience runs thin with others.  Being kind is a reflection of patience which in turn, is reflecting Christ.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. I've never been one to long for material possessions.  I've never cared about having "bigger and better".  I've never based my success on the things I can show off. Envy, boastfulness, and pride doesn't always relate to material things. My struggle: Being envious of my married friends who have husbands who love the Lord and their lives reflect it. Boasting and pride over my children being such good kids with kind hearts; as if it were my accomplishment.  I'm constantly having to remind myself that EVERYTHING I have comes for the Lord (including being a single mom) and to HIM be all the glory, honor and praise. 

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. This one I struggle with the most.  I was actually delayed in posting this entry because I didn't want to be a hypacrit.  While writing this entry, I was served with legal papers stating that my ex-husband is taking me back to court to get child support lowered.  It was such a harsh blow; especially having seen him pick up the kids just weeks earlier in a brand new $42,000 truck.  When he abandoned us almost 4 years ago, he also abandoned all parental responsibilty, never taking an active role in the children's life. Out of the 365 days in 2010, he spent less than 10 days with the children.  So, you can imagine when I read the papers, all my flesh wanted to do is dishonor him! Find a way to hurt him to make myself feel better! I was ANGRY! And I immediately pulled out my little notebook of the ex's wrongdoings and began looking for a lawyer. I had to take some time to refocus and turn my fleshly anger into righteous anger before sharing with you.  It's a daily struggle for sure.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth This relates to what I just shared.  There is a fine line between revenge and justice when it comes to our heart's desire.  I pray daily for discernment between the two. Our God is a just God! He will always go to bat for us! We need to make sure that it's justice we pray for and not revenge.

 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I think about my role as a mother when I read this.  The love I have for my children is so strong that my first instinct is to protect them, even if it meant sacrificing my own life. To trust that they will always be in the Lord's favor. I'm always hoping that I am doing all that I can to help fulfill the Lord's will in their lives. And I will NEVER give up! I may cry myself to sleep some nights out of pure exhaustion, but JOY comes in the morning! I will always stand back up because greater is HE who is in me!

 Love never fails. Again, GREATER is HE who is in me, than the brokeness that once defined me! I fail on a daily bases, but LOVE has never failed me.  When I'm black and blue and cut to pieces from running into all those fun house mirrors, it's true LOVE who mends my breaks!

FAITH: Truely believing that the will of God will never take us where the grace of God will not protect us.

HOPE: Truely believeing that whatever we may be going through, God is not only going see us through it, He will justify it and use it to bring GLORY to His name!

LOVE: SALVATION the greatest of these 

KNOW LOVE.  Truly know love! Know what love is not.  Never give up on love because Love has never given up on you.

Be blessed and remember to always be a blessing

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you, girlfriend, and loving how the WORD is your strength. Beautiful.