Friday, February 18, 2011

Please excuse me. I'll be right with you! This will take just a minute. I need to lose my mind for a brief moment...

Overwhelmed- verb  1. To overcome completely in mind or feeling.  2. To overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush.

Since making my New Year’s Resolutions, I feel like I have been living in a snow globe being shaken by a toddler with ADHD!  Funny how things go bananas as soon as you start making plans.  The devotion and prayer time with the kids has been precious!  The only successful resolution so far.   Hmm… maybe the rest is all spiritual backlash as a result.
I made a commitment to be home by 4:00 everyday so that I can be there as the kids get off the bus.  BUT LIFE has gotten in the way.  The computer charting and billing system we us at the office went out of business.  I’m in charge of our system change.  I am fully convinced that successfully climbing Everest would be an easier task.  There are days when I get home at 6, get the kids fed, in the bath, in the bed, and I start working again.  There is a little peace in knowing that it should all be somewhat settled in a few weeks. 
I tried dating.  I have been on dates with three different guys.  The last guy seemed to be very promising.  I met his parents and he met my family.  I even allowed myself to get excited at the possibilities… BUT LIFE (his life) wasn’t all it seemed.   Should’ve known better.  It never fails, as soon as I start getting optimistic BAM! I get knocked upside the head with some craziness from out in left field!  Oh, did I mention that this happened the day before Valentine’s Day?  Either I am a magnet for deceitful men or there just aren’t any (single) genuinely good Christian men left in the world.  As much as I want to use bitterness as a coping/protection mechanism, God didn’t create me to be that way.  As disappointing as it is and as hurtful as it can be, I have such peace in knowing that the Holy Spirit is close enough to me to reveal the truth before my heart gets too invested.   
If all that wasn’t enough, my ex tells me he is will be skipping yet another weekend. A weekend I’m scheduled to attend a work conference in Atlanta BUT LIFE left me scrambling to figure out how I am going to get four kids to baseball practice at four different times and still make the trip!
PAUSE: We need to add the recent emotional strains regarding the death of my step father and the stress of throwing the most fabulous baby shower EVER for my nephew and his wife.  Let’s not forget it’s ONLY February. 

I was an emotional wreck to say the least.  My poor kids! Sometimes I pray extra hard that they grow up normal having such a loony mother raising them! J  I was doing really well keeping it together until I looked at their sweet faces as they were getting ready for bed.  I couldn’t hold it in anymore.  Everything I do, I do with these precious babies in mind.  They deserve so much better.  As I went from room to room tucking each in as snug as a bug in a rug, I dismissed my tears by explaining that mommy wasn’t feeling very well.  My six year old little boy is always my last stop.  When I told him that I was crying because I wasn’t feeling very well, he reached out from under the covers, wiped my cheek and asked, “Is your heart sick?”  The floodgates flew wide open! I felt his little hand patting my back after I scooped him up in my arms.  Then in true Jackson form, he pulls back and hands me a headless action figure.  “Mommy, Luke Skywalker has a sick heart, too.  He lost his head.  I looked for seben-teen hours but I can’t find it.” My burst of tears instantly became a burst of laughter and I showered him with kisses. 
Back in my room, I was writing letters to some friends who are preparing to work a Christian retreat.  I had managed to stuff the hurt down again BUT LIFE entered in and the tears began again as I held a small wooden box that belonged to my dad. He has been gone for 20 years and I have cherished his little wooden box since.  What would he do if he were still here?  He would ride in on a white horse with full armor and colors flying, destroying every obstacle that blocked my path, defeating any enemy that would threaten my heart, and win back every tear and every ounce of self-worth lost! Wait….

Psalm 18:17-24 (The Message)

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

 God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Overwhelmed- verb  1. To overcome completely in mind or feeling.  2. To overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush.
When we allow God to be our Father, our Redeemer, our everything, He changes our definitions.

Why have I let these earthly things overwhelm me when I have the CREATOR who promises to overwhelm anything that comes against me?!?!

Because I am human, made of flesh and bones. 


I may be weak at times; BUT GOD is always strong!

I may be full of doubt at times; BUT GOD has had a plan for my life even before He created the stars!

I may feel all alone at times; BUT GOD has never left my side!

I may feel overwhelmed by life; BUT GOD overwhelms all that comes against me!

I may walk in the flesh at times; BUT GOD became flesh so that my soul doesn’t have to perish for the sins of my flesh!

I am so thankful that there is a BUT GOD for every situation in my life!

Let’s remind ourselves that for every BUT LIFE moment we have, there is a more powerful BUT GOD truth that will overwhelm them all!

Be Blessed and always remember to be a blessing!