tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72075048082376179282024-03-12T21:40:41.573-04:00Psycho-BLOG-therapy for Bittersweet InsanityThoughts of a Christian single mother of four wonderful children. A journey through this crazy life in the insane and not-so-insane moments. Revelations, growth, and survival.Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-8252196798744284032011-10-03T14:34:00.000-04:002011-10-03T14:34:47.709-04:00"Don't you people know by now I can do anything!" Lucy Liu's character on Ally McBeal<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Those who know me well know that I can pretty much do anything! It’s comical, really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It stems from a deep seeded curiosity rather than a “know-it-all” personality and more times than not, it’s come from pure stubbornness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong! I am a southern woman through and through! I love chivalry! I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">desire</i> chivalry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just boils down to this: </span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Curiosity + Stubbornness + Severe Lack of Patience = The ability to do pretty much anything</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When you add the fact that my personality calls for perfection (from myself. Not from others) the end product is pretty successful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just don’t factor <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> in with that equation. I usually come out looking like I just stepped of the battle field but at the same time, I absolutely LOVE knowledge and creativity so to me, it’s all worth it in the end! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, why not just ask for help??? The same equation applies with a remainder of PRIDE. I DO ask for help on occasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted the help I ask for is usually to gain more knowledge in my quest to conquer a certain task, but asked all the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can paint houses, paint murals, tile floors, tile counter tops, build kitchen islands, crochet: hats, scarves, and blankets, hand sew quilts, make elaborate costumes, make knock-off dresses (GREAT skill when you love fashion like I do but SO don’t have the wallet to match!), plant a garden, fix a lawn mower (without the manual), restore antique furniture, wallpaper a room, reupholster furniture, run cable through a house, decorate a house, hang crown molding, any type of craft known to man, change a tire, jump off a car, cross-stitch, make jewelry, cook like Paula Deen, cut hair, color hair, theatrical make-up, create an entire solar system in a 7 year old little boy’s bedroom, and I can even field dress a deer! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m sure there are more. Those just popped in my head. Pretty impressive, hu? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t be too impressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I often forget the fine print at the end of my “impressive” equation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Curiosity + Stubbornness + Severe Lack of Patience = The ability to do pretty much anything <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">including forgetting where my strength comes from.</i></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So often I rely on my OWN strength instead of relying on the One whose strength never tires or grows weary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, my strength is always a total EPIC FAIL. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD…</b> He always has a way of letting us know who is stronger! And I LOVE when He does that!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I mentioned in a previous blog that my ex-husband was taking me back to court to have child support lowered. We finally had “our day in court”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For four years, I have struggled with the feelings and emotions of what this man did to me and my babies, took from me and my babies, STOLE from me and my babies. I’ve cried a sea of tears! I’ve been to the foot of the cross a thousand times laying it ALL down and begging God to help me NOT pick it back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve forgiven way more than 70x7 times! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed and prayed for this man’s heart to be turned back to his children! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I watched his life over the past four years from the banks of my own reality, all I could see was him getting everything he desired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had freedom, a new house, a new car, a new wife… a new life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched as everyone around him adored him, even in knowing what he had done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was defended and praised while the lies he told about me were believed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friends and family would tell me things like, “Don’t worry about it! If they really knew you….” Or “If they were really your friends...” or “You shouldn’t care about what he says or what they think!” I just wanted a voice that could be heard!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing I ever said would penetrate the hands of the enemy that covered my ex-husband’s ears so firmly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks before our court date, I truly gave the situation to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea how I would manage financially if the judge granted the reduction in child support but I DID know that God promised to supply all of our needs regardless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mother and I decided to go out for breakfast before our appointed time in front of the judge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Confident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having my momma there helped a lot! But of course the enemy wanted to destroy any ounce of confidence I had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My attorney called just as I added butter to my grits and I no longer had an appetite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart fell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> he was about to reveal the “wrench”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He said that he just got off the phone with my ex’s attorney and they wanted to “work out a deal”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here we go again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Since the divorce was final, I had to have my lawyer (my late step father) threaten court several times to get him pay what he was court-ordered to pay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always compromised in fear of getting less or having something else taken away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even agreed to him paying me ½ the alimony and eventually gave in to him not having to pay it at all (that was my stubborn pride shining through). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I sat and listened to my attorney as he explained how they wanted my ex to pay me nearly ½ of what he was currently paying and he would “let” me claim 2 of our 4 children on my taxes. My ears began ringing with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my God shall supply all my needs</i> and for a split second I actually contemplated the “deal” until the Holy Spirit smacked me upside the head! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in doing so, filled my ears with sweet beautiful ballads of promise from my Father!</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">MY GOD <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WILL </b>SUPPLY ALL OF MY NEEDS</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I CAN DO <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ALL</b> THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I LIFT MY EYES TO THE MOUNTAINS, WHERE DOES MY HELP COME FROM? MY HELP COMES FROM THE <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">LORD</b>, THE MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I explained to my attorney that I had given this to the Father and I was NOT going to pick it back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If child support was going to be reduced, it would have to be court-ordered by the judge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He explained to me that there was a possibility of getting less than what my ex was offering and I in turn explained to him that WHATEVER the judge decided would be from the Lord. I knew that the judge, the case, the entire circumstance was saturated in the prayers of SO many! HIS will WOULD be done!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not accepting the deal meant we would technically go to trial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This meant getting on the stand! I was nervous and excited at the same time! In my quest and stubbornness to know all things, I am confident and convinced that I could have tried this case myself. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> The fact that I love courtroom thrillers and watch Nancy Grace fueled my desire for justice!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched my ex fidget on the stand as my attorney asked him question after question <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>regarding the gross lack of time spent with the kids, how much money he made, how much money his current wife makes, how much money he spends on daycare for the twins he and his wife had last year, and if he realized that he was asking the court to allow him to pay LESS for the support and care for FOUR children than what he paid out in childcare ALONE for his two “new” children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my ex shrugged his shoulders and answered, “I really don’t know how to answer that”, it honestly took every fiber of my being along with the Army of Heavenly angels that were assigned to me that day to stop me from jumping up and yelling, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” <much laughter></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you, God for GRACE and MERCY! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may have laughed at my “courtroom thrillers and Nancy Grace” comment, but my stellar performance on that stand would have made Jack Nicholson not only confess to ordering the CODE RED, he would have been crying like a lost school girl!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I SCHOOLED my ex’s lawyer! At one point the judge stopped my ex’s lawyer mid-sentence and asked, “Counselor, is there a question there somewhere?” to which he responded, “I apologize, your honor. I was trying to answer <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her</i> question.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who is cross examining whom?</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise, I tried to just stay focused on several scriptures I stored in my heart to help me through the proceedings… but the more that attorney asked me stupid questions like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why didn’t I just get another job if I need the money so bad</i>, the more I focused on the fact that he was wearing braces… and for some reason those braces infuriated me! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lord have mercy (and thank goodness He did!) I wanted leap across the rails of that stand and strangle that man with the wire that held his braces together when he asked me, “Well… have you <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">TOLD</i></b> Mr. XXXXX that he hasn’t been a very good father?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat there for a minute while my raging psychotic insides calmed down enough to somewhat resemble the well-groomed and well-mannered southern lady who sat before this respected court of law.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dialogue went something like this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ME</b>: I’m sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize it was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i> job to make sure Mr. XXXX was being a good parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, no one is there to remind me to do my job as a mother. I JUST DO IT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to answer your question, yes. I’ve actually begged him to be a father to our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not even a good father, just a father period!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Braces</b>: You said that Mr. XXXX is supposed to get the kids every Tuesday for the evening but has never done that. You also stated that it takes an hour and a half from his house to yours. If Mr. XXXX doesn’t get off of work until 6:30 that would mean he wouldn’t get to your house until at LEAST 8:00 and by the time he took them to dinner or wherever, it would be near 10:00! Now… being the good mother that you are claiming to be, would you want your children out that late on a school night?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore do you really expect Mr. XXXX to drive close to 3 hours round trip for an hour visit especially with gas prices and the economy the way it is?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ME</b>: (fighting back the flesh!) First of all, I AM a good mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t ever question that. Second of all, driving to see his children isn’t asking too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the same as me having to drive 3 or more hours round trip to watch my child play a baseball game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s what we do as parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, I would not allow him to have the children out past their bedtime on school nights. I would however expect him to get off work early at least ONE day a MONTH to come spend time with his children.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Braces</b>: OH! And it’s just SO easy for Mr. XXXX to take off of work early???</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ME</b>: Apparently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He takes off early all the time for Georgia football games, Braves baseball games, concerts, vacations WITHOUT the children…</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No further questions</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Okay, so I walked way more in the flesh than I did in the spirit while on that stand but I have to admit, having a voice felt great! But nowhere near as wonderful as the sound of my Father’s love as He answered prayer after prayer through the Judge’s verdict.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As loud and strong as I thought my voice had been as I defended myself, my name, my honor, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my children</i> on that stand, it was truly no louder than the sound of still water when it was MY FATHER, MY JUDGE, MY REDEEMER’s turn to speak!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As the judge began his verdict, so my Father began to speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i>, in a voice so powerful that our ears would ring deaf and our souls were forced to listen. And as He spoke, the chains began to fall to the ground and I was no longer bound by the hurt of my past.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Judge: </b>(as best as I remember) Mr. XXXX, I believe that you are a good man. I don’t believe that you are an evil person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have made some very poor decisions the past several years that I can’t imagine you would be proud of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your yearly family income is $180,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are having financial difficulties, I can assure you it has nothing to do with your child support obligations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You need to reevaluate your priorities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Pointing to me) THAT is your FIRST priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not your nice big house, not your new cars, not your new wife, and not even the two children that you have had since. (Pointing to me again) THAT is your first priority. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you realize that every time you skip time with your children, not only are you hurting your children, SHE doesn’t get a break! She also has to feed them and take care of them on YOUR time which means more money for her to spend out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not lowering child support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t order you to see your children Mr. XXXX.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do STRONGLY encourage you to reprioritize your life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In that moment, the weight of the past four years was lifted off of my shoulders!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I INSTATNTLY felt peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as I love words, I can’t even begin to express the sudden healing and transformation of my heart and mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every ounce of bitterness and hurt was gone. GONE. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Oh, HAPPY DAY! </span>I sat in awe at the power of my God. I looked over at my ex and he looked different to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no anger seeping from his pores, his jaw wasn’t clinched tight liked it normally does in those type of circumstances. I smiled knowing that whatever demons had accompanied him or anyone else into the courtroom that day, were cast straight back to hell the instant My Father showed up! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Don’t you people know by now, I can do ANYTHING?!?!</strong></span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s been a month since that day in court.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My relationship with my ex is eerily pleasant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has made a HUGE effort in his relationship with the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hasn’t been ugly or disrespectful to me at all! It’s amazing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can think back on the past four years and there truly is no bitterness, no hurt, and no anger.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But really, why are we surprised???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t we know by now that HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may be able to do a lot of things:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">(Curiosity + Stubbornness + Severe Lack of Patience = The ability to do pretty much anything)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I change my equation:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(GOD – flesh + GRACE – doubt + FAITH = MIRACLES) </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I definitely like that outcome MUCH better!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be BLESSED and don’t forget to be a blessing!!!</span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-25735364807479834722011-08-06T15:56:00.000-04:002011-08-06T15:56:11.928-04:00You Think I Have it All Together??? Me??? REALLY?!?!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Someone once asked me what the hardest part of being a single mother was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I contemplated her question, the song “God Give Me Strength” rang in my ears as a montage of my daily existence played in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was it trying to figure out how to be four places at once? Was it having to choose one child’s performance over another because I failed at being four places at once? Was it the mess that I walked over again and again because we would be late for someone's something if I took 5 seconds to pick it up? Maybe it’s facing seemingly impossible to answer questions like, “Why did daddy leave?” or “Why does daddy have a new wife? Weren’t you his wife first? That doesn’t seem fair.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s having to crawl into an empty bed after a long day of work, cooking, cleaning, homework, baseball, baths, kisses goodnight… and cuddling up to the unused pillow next to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I think the hardest part of being a single mom is:</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Start children off on the way they should go,</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">and even when they are old they will not turn from it.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Proverbs 22:6</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(NIV)</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How am I supposed to direct them when I feel completely scattered? Notice there is no “Single Parent clause” in that verse. All rules apply.</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since the last time I blogged, my daughter has asked Jesus to come LIVE in her heart and be LORD of her life!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a precious chapter written on the wall of my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been talking about it for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She crawled in my bed one night and confessed that she was afraid to make such an important commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She knew in her heart that God was real, that Jesus is the living Son of God, and believed everything in scripture is true and God-breathed. She just wasn’t sure if “she was ready” and was struggling with how to figure that out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Apparently (unbeknownst to me) she had wanted to ask Jesus into her heart several years ago and when she asked a church leader about it, she was told she wasn’t ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That seed of doubt had been growing inside my baby for about 4 years!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to ask her why she never talked to me about it but I didn’t want to add <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">guilt</i> to her list of emotions. Instead, we opened the Bible and began reading scripture. As we read, I prayed against the weeds of doubt that had taken hold of her heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She soon felt peace and told me she knew she was ready to ask Jesus into her heart so I held her as she closed her eyes and began talking to the Savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her voice cracked and she began to cry as she told Jesus how sorry she was “for every sin and every time I made You sad” and I LOST IT! Her words broke me as the Holy Spirit poured over her. I watched as my little Sweet Pea transformed from a broken little bird into a new creation; made strong and mighty with a single breath of life! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She was four years old when we adopted her and in her first four years of life she had seen and endured more than most of us will face in a lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my husband walked out, she is who I feared for the most yet she was the one who recovered the quickest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had been schooled in survival since the day she was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As my 10 year old daughter prayed, pouring her heart out to the Father, I realized just how much <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she</i> had taught <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> about survival these past four years. I also realized that the major burden I carried for my daughter was the burden she, herself carried of a past life full of unspeakables.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT GOD…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As she nailed her past to the cross, I felt our shared burden be swept away by the strong yet gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now… tell me I don’t serve a MIGHTY God!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That Sunday, our church had baptism at the river.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched from a padded pew as my two oldest sons were baptized and I was JUST as proud and filled with joy! But there was something about wading in the water with my child and rejoicing not only with our family and friends but with ALL of creation! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(see the pics at the end!)</span></div>I Chronicles 16:30‑34<br />
Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved. Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!" Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them! Then the trees of the forest will sing, they will sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My daughter’s salvation was wonderful news to everyone except my youngest child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that he wasn’t happy for his sister! He was just devastated at the realization that salvation isn’t a birthright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His 6 year old heart’s turmoil began a week before his sister asked Jesus into her heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It all started when I announced that Ava (their 7 year old friend who is really more like a cousin) had gotten “saved”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His immediate response was panic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What?! Thaved (saved. He has a lisp </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">) from what??? Is she Okay?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I explained to him what I was talking about I truly expected him to immediately “get it".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely he understood salvation! His response wasn’t, “Oh, yeah. I misunderstood what you were saying, mom.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not even close! His response went something like this (with FULL emotion) “You mean I’m not thaved?!?!?! But I LOVE Jethuth! (look of sheer devastation on his beautiful little face) How can Jethuth NOT be in my heart when I love Him tho much!?” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In that moment I became convinced that my heart must be made of steel to survive yet another blow from the SMOF dagger! (Single Mother of Four dagger- moments that pierce my heart for my children and not having anyone (physically) to share the hemorrhage with. I KNOW the Lord is always with me. It’s one of those moments that can only truly be understood if you experience it and I pray no one has to!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, after two solid months of deep philosophical conversations with my now 7 year old I became convinced that he truly understood salvation (better than most! lol) and I told him that it was a decision that he must make on his own. It was a “big boy” decision and although I would walk beside him, I couldn’t take the steps <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">for</i> him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a few nights ago, he crawled in my bed and said that he was ready. I imagined the Lord laughing joyfully at my Love Bug’s precious prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His personality was ALL over it! After saying “Amen”, he looked up at me with his big brown eyes and asked, “Am I real ChriTHtian now?” As I nodded and smiled, he jumped up, threw his hands in the air, let out a glorious belly giggle and shouted, “YES!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another new creation. My cup runneth over. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All four of my babies have their names written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wouldn’t it be nice if that’s all there was to it for parents? “My child accepted Christ! My work is done!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, I believe a lot of parents have that philosophy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, this is when the hard work begins!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most of the time I feel like a complete failure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look at myself in the mirror, or at Mount St. Laundry, or I will hear child #3 say “shut up” to child #4, or look up at the spider monkeys which have taken up residency in the trees since my yard has become a jungle due to neglect and ask in utter bewilderment, “What, in the name of all that is holy, made You [God] think I could successfully handle being a single mother of four children??? And you are counting on <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ME</i></b> to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">set them off in the way they should go</i>???”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So far I don’t believe I’ve been given an answer. If He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">has</i> answered, my flesh hasn’t allowed me to hear it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing I do know, He has never failed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just when I’m at that “last straw” moment, He sends drops of hope from Heaven to renew my faith and my strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, coming come to find that my children took it upon themselves to start the laundry or realizing I actually have a blocked amount of time FREE to do yard work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those droplets make it a joy to drag the spider monkeys out of the trees for bath time, transforming them back into the children I adore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate when those precious moments start feeling like a chore.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But the BEST are the downpours! They come when I feel completely hopeless and question my very existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few months ago I was served with papers stating that my ex-husband is taking me back to court to ask for a reduction in his child support payments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I DO know that regardless, we WILL be taken care of because God promises us that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the process of having to go over every single event of the past 4 years with a new lawyer stripped me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The worst part was seeing the actual evidence in front of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things like him skipping so many weekends with the children last year that the total time he spent with the kids was less than 7 days. Seeing that he and his wife spend more in daycare for their twins than I bring home in a month really did a number to my self-worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was easy to fall into self loathing and bouts of depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I could think was, “Look at ALL I do! And with NO help from you yet you want to take away the ONLY support you give these babies!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed and prayed that God would give me peace and as soon as the peace would come I was blasted with a reminder of how much it costs to raise 4 children. After paying out for baseball, softball, all-stars, and so on… my oldest son (who turns 15 August 12<sup>th</sup>) was asked to lead worship for his New Orleans mission trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a HUGE deal! He had long outgrown his guitar and I so desperately wanted to buy him a new one as early birthday present so he would have it for the trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this meant taking a huge chunk out my savings account. I struggled with what to do until I realized that the song I couldn’t get out of my head was actually God trying to speak to fleshly burdened heart. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The song:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I need you to soften my heart<br />
To break me apart<br />
I need you to open my eyes<br />
To see that You’re shaping my life<br />
All I am, I surrender</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Give me faith to trust what you say<br />
That you’re good and your love is great<br />
I’m broken inside, I give you my life</i></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em></em><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
I need you to soften my heart</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">I may be weak<br />
But your Spirit’s strong in me<br />
My flesh may fail<br />
My God you never will</span></span></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I trusted that whatever money was being taken from my account would be repaid in a value that supersedes any world currency! I joyfully purchased the guitar for my son and OH THE DOWNPOUR!!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every lie that the enemy had thrown at me has vanished in the floods of HOPE showered over me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only have my two youngest children accepted Christ, my oldest went on the New Orleans trip where he was able to watch God work in a mighty way then lead others in worshiping our magnificent creator! When I picked him up from the trip, he was sharing all the things that he had experienced and then the song above started playing in the car; the same song that the Lord spoke to me through just a month earlier. Kael began to weep out of the overwhelming love he felt for the Savior and the Holy Spirit fell over us inside my little Toyota Matrix and I experienced <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fellowship</i> with my son. Another priceless moment branded to the wall of my heart.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks later, Hunter (my almost 12 year old and second born) set off to Plant City, Florida for his mission trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His age group had been training for an entire year for their first mission trip and Hunter was ready! At the last minute Kael was asked to go and lead worship for this trip too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then another downpour! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hunter had led two people to Christ on his own and between my two children, 6 people dedicated their lives to Christ! My boys also experianced downpours of their own. Through one of the leaders (a dear brother to me) the Father affirmed to Kael that he was not alone! That not only did he have his Heavenly Father, but his Father loves him so much that He has placed Godly men in Kael's life to fill any physical void. HEALING!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> A few weeks later I was told by one of the other leaders on the trip how impressed she was with Hunter. One of the kids had gotten sick and vomited all over the floor. Without being asked and without reservation, Hunter helped take care of things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said something like, “It blessed me beyond words to see a child clean up another child’s throw-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truly a servant’s heart!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This too has been etched on the walls of my heart.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The hardest part of being a single mother is actually remembering that He’s got my back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows when I need drops of hope and when I need a downpour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may be weak, but HIS Spirit IS strong in me! And my flesh WILL fail, MY GOD, He NEVER will! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I believe that if I continue to work hard at helping my children find and follow the path that the Lord has laid out before each of them, there will be peace when it’s time to let go of their hand and watch them walk into His perfect will for their lives.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And as for my heart being made of steel… I realized in writing this entry that it’s not made of steel at all! It’s just woven tighter than a bullet-proof vest with the precious, God-given moments I’ve written on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been made stronger than any dagger could sever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be blessed and never forget to be a blessing!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0-55udROZdl3gIM3qpD4dZs251YiFkDNobg5_s9Cs40EpV6tJSYCEdJDGKKyQxmo4gK3OOfpeB0I7mCTlowroL_hEZiqEbaxYzitLXeTRaoYS4ZzuL5mdIfC1Oj-BUqy2GFY7YFZCVrs/s1600/may+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0-55udROZdl3gIM3qpD4dZs251YiFkDNobg5_s9Cs40EpV6tJSYCEdJDGKKyQxmo4gK3OOfpeB0I7mCTlowroL_hEZiqEbaxYzitLXeTRaoYS4ZzuL5mdIfC1Oj-BUqy2GFY7YFZCVrs/s320/may+009.JPG" t$="true" width="320" /></a></div>My Sweet Pea being baptized by our children's pastor, Hal. One of the precious GODLY men that the Father has placed in our lives.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3F_piGwskKJzLyTZAHebtxOxMeyekE2GPRQQT-1b9_5lRwPU4040WPAfQEi7aTdZWdg-UCyE2pBRmnAVa1vzp06gYJb-nYOyDjYFvEa9woP0iqx89YHei6eCgxWwTHnddkAhEUukCxs/s1600/super+dave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3F_piGwskKJzLyTZAHebtxOxMeyekE2GPRQQT-1b9_5lRwPU4040WPAfQEi7aTdZWdg-UCyE2pBRmnAVa1vzp06gYJb-nYOyDjYFvEa9woP0iqx89YHei6eCgxWwTHnddkAhEUukCxs/s320/super+dave.jpg" t$="true" width="240" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">My Punkin', Kael with Dave who is another gift from God and my precious brother-in-Christ.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGMZee6S8LAnom26eYeH8zFVqz7ecM5TLMt0N-3uEDHLzyQ9lVAXnr3TEweAHs9_sPcIqRXW6-iw5IlgGZHm1T5mKu8y-m9FstNhhviQI1SNUk5jX3dQSXbgOhF9XGGfnc2bH5Zngv1E/s1600/255194_2074338701132_1324864861_2426732_642803_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGMZee6S8LAnom26eYeH8zFVqz7ecM5TLMt0N-3uEDHLzyQ9lVAXnr3TEweAHs9_sPcIqRXW6-iw5IlgGZHm1T5mKu8y-m9FstNhhviQI1SNUk5jX3dQSXbgOhF9XGGfnc2bH5Zngv1E/s320/255194_2074338701132_1324864861_2426732_642803_n.jpg" t$="true" width="320" /></a></div>Kael leading worship in New Orleans. <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-U4aygawZyjRyetk75vN2EwXhL0QY37HJtwlFm4xzcAj-rA_Ae3gAHquWT1BPjaTvnLbVaAlE5FGghld96VF9XkLowjgQgW50pZu5qEHSh-NiZaqpjuqd9uAmlTQ2B-WXjo36x6eeISU/s1600/11111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-U4aygawZyjRyetk75vN2EwXhL0QY37HJtwlFm4xzcAj-rA_Ae3gAHquWT1BPjaTvnLbVaAlE5FGghld96VF9XkLowjgQgW50pZu5qEHSh-NiZaqpjuqd9uAmlTQ2B-WXjo36x6eeISU/s320/11111.jpg" t$="true" width="240" /></a></div>My Sunshine, Hunter and my Love Bug Jackson leading the way during worship at this year's Vacation Bible School.<br />
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The song I shared:<br />
<a href="http://www.elevation-worship.com/songs/give-me-faith-the-song/">http://www.elevation-worship.com/songs/give-me-faith-the-song/</a><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
To break me apart<br />
I need you pierce through the dark<br />
And cleanse every part of me</span>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-18105475110400132182011-05-15T08:43:00.000-04:002011-05-15T08:43:40.769-04:00All the way to Heaven... and back again<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What I love most about spring is that everything is made new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All around us, the scenery changes from a cold, dead gray to a burst of living color! The layers of clothing that have bound us for months begin to shed as the sun draws closer and closer towards the earth. The sound of baby birds chirping for their breakfast brings such JOY to my heart! Such beautiful reminders all around that we have new life in Christ Jesus!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the past several years Easter and Thanksgiving have been spent at my sister, Karen’s house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and her husband Marty live in the most precious little farmhouse that I believe was built in the 1920’s and moved to its current location sometime in the 1940’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has restored it so beautifully. Truly a trip back in time when you enter in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a barn in the back which Marty takes great pride in. It’s where we congregate for these family events.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tables are lined with linens where we place our most prized dishes of casseroles and desserts. For Easter, the front barn doors are open wide to welcome warm sunshine and a fresh clean breeze; only closed for a few minutes to corral the little ones as Easter eggs are hidden.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYnGHyoR6CsR0geuRsmDl0rFNDTKwHMgCTZ3DVPymJXq0JAnrjtxwEJA-j3ZALK4_8S2FPu2IGcwLX8Ft1TmwAZsrKK4UU1atLjlP-5qo8av4FWshQyz2viHJrGUkfw2QWit9EMm7bKA/s1600/875.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYnGHyoR6CsR0geuRsmDl0rFNDTKwHMgCTZ3DVPymJXq0JAnrjtxwEJA-j3ZALK4_8S2FPu2IGcwLX8Ft1TmwAZsrKK4UU1atLjlP-5qo8av4FWshQyz2viHJrGUkfw2QWit9EMm7bKA/s200/875.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ready Set GO!</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This Easter was particularly special because the Lord has blessed us with Karsen, my very first great-niece! She is so precious that the fact I’m old enough to have a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">GREAT</i> niece doesn’t even faze me. As I held her and watched my own children running around, an ache pinched my heart. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRP5s8XDcHokL3DuXhkrQbCqDP4s1WZ0mzYgGuaeQ-GNZYXhfesV0B9C6hxppmoVtlO7su272itY7yvqTv03Ss7mcBGfGb_yb0tbjAsh-Gfwn5q2gHishGa5n7zY33FK4AgDwUKy_ylj0/s1600/916.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRP5s8XDcHokL3DuXhkrQbCqDP4s1WZ0mzYgGuaeQ-GNZYXhfesV0B9C6hxppmoVtlO7su272itY7yvqTv03Ss7mcBGfGb_yb0tbjAsh-Gfwn5q2gHishGa5n7zY33FK4AgDwUKy_ylj0/s320/916.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wasn’t it just a moment ago that I held this baby girl’s daddy in my arms? Didn’t I just rock my own babies to sleep as I rock Karsen now? </span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wait</i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">… wasn’t it just yesterday that I wrapped my little arms around my momma’s neck and pulled her face to meet mine so she would look at me while I was talking to her?</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I looked over at my momma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked so pretty. I wondered if time’s swift hand had caused her the same pain. I’m certain it has.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With Mother’s Day and Easter still alive all around me there is so much I want to share! These past few weeks have been such a time of revelation that I’m having a hard time knowing where to begin sharing with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgive me if this entry turns to babble!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I learned something so very profound just weeks before Easter Sunday that it has melted into so many areas of my life. I believe I will start with sharing what I learned. Many of you may already know this bit of knowledge, but maybe there are a lot of you who will be excited like me! </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">“From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">“Eli, Eli,</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">lema</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">sabachthani?”</span> (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).”</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Matthew 27:45-46</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I always wondered why Jesus would say that! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Because he was in so much pain and was asking God why would He allow His Son to go through this?</i> But, Jesus already knew what would happen… <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But if He already knew then why question God???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if Jesus is questioning God, then maybe it’s not so bad if we question God???</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Confused?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually, it’s not confusing at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Believe it or not, King James did NOT write the Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, that was not my profound revelation. [insert giggles].<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WAAY back before King James, all Rabbis started their training as young boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They didn’t have the Old Testament given to them, sectioned by chapters with each verse assigned a number for referencing and put together in a nice leather bound book with their name imprinted in gold leaf on the front. They had to memorize it all, scroll by scroll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, when referencing something particular, they would recite the first line of the section they were referencing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as if I were to say “In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">John 3:16</i>” You would probably know what that verse is about.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">SO…. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As Jesus, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Messiah</i>, hangs on the cross beaten (but not broken), he cries out, NOT to God but to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">man,</i> the first part of what we know as Psalm 22. There was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NO</b> doubt! There was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NO</b> questioning the Father!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus, in what must have seemed to be His weakest moment to all who were watching, cried out in VICTORY: </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“</span><i><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Eli, Eli,</span></i><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <i>lema</i> <i>sabachthani?”!!!!</i></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Basically saying: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I AM Who I say I AM. I AM the Messiah! The One David wrote about!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is the Proof!</i></span></span></div><h4 align="center" style="background: white; margin: auto 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Psalm 22</span></h4><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">1</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? <br />
Why are you so far from saving me, <br />
so far from my cries of anguish? <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14207">2</sup></b> My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, <br />
by night, but I find no rest.<sup></sup></span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">3</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; <br />
you are the one Israel praises. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14209">4</sup></b> In you our ancestors put their trust; <br />
they trusted and you delivered them. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14210">5</sup></b> To you they cried out and were saved; <br />
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(read the entire chapter at the end of this blog entry! So powerful!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After reading Psalm 22 in its entirety, I began to think of all the other times in my life when I<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>doubted something or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">someone</i> simply because the entire truth wasn’t revealed to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or because, more times than not, I had been too selfish or self absorbed to look beyond my own pain to see the truth. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back to my mother…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For many years I manned this incredible wall of hurt and bitterness that I built as a barrier between my mother and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved her so much yet I was so angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was very young, my mom decided to leave my father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also left her children: my brother who was entering his pre-teen years, my sister who is 7 ½ years older than me, and of course, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe I was around 2 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father was (and still is) an alcoholic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t remember him ever being mean to us or hurting us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do remember that he wasn’t around very much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He remarried quickly to what we refer to as the “step monster”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a mean drunk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and her teenage boys left me with scars both physically and emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having no true sense of time at such a young age, it felt like I lived in that nightmare for eternity! In reality it wasn’t very long until my mom came back for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had found her “knight in shining armor” that turned out to be the saving grace for all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always said that he took us out of that hell and made us a family once again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was never a “step-dad” in my eyes or my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I credited him for it ALL while silently I guarded the wall of my heart that faced my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up, my mother and I never really fought and we really did love each other. When my dad passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack both of our worlds were shattered. Not being able (or willing) to see my mother’s pain through my own grief, the little girl inside of me quickly added more layers to the wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then when I had a child of my own and truly understood a mother’s love, I couldn’t fathom how she could just leave us like she did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I added the final layer to the wall around my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR GRACE AND MERCY!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Longing for a better relationship with my mother, I began to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became clear that this wall I had built to protect myself from hurt had become my tomb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Slowly, the Lord chiseled away at that wall and with every drop of mortar, a little bit of truth was revealed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Like looking past my doubt and seeing the truth behind Jesus’ words on the cross and letting GLORY fill my soul, He allowed me to look past my hurt and I was able to see my mother for who she was then and who she truly is today.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mother then:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Lord in His endless mercy changed my harsh question of “how could she!” to a soft “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why did she?”</i> Slowly I began to see with spiritual eyes and not only did the wall get destroyed, my heart broke for my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think she had even turned 30 years old when she left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s more than 6 years younger than I am now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A young woman, married to an abusive husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t imagine the lies spoken over her that made her believe she wasn’t good enough or worthy enough to take her children with her when she left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shared with me a few years ago that during the months she spent living without us, she was working hard to make a way for us all to be together again. She asked for my forgiveness but by this time the only forgiveness needed was hers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All the years spent building a tomb could have been spent building a relationship! I thank God every single day for restoring the relationship with my mother. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mother now:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For several years now, my momma has been my best friend, my mentor, my saving grace, and a great source of strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see her now for whom she has always been:</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Beautiful inside and out</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Godly</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">SRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Loves her children</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Loves her grandchildren</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Loves her great-grandchildren</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The hardest worker I know</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A good friend</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trustworthy</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Giving</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lover of butterflies, music, anything purple, sappy movies, working with her hands, and baby girls</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><img alt="*" height="12" src="file:///C:/Users/Jeff/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="12" /></span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">STRONG</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She knows that her strength comes from the One who created her- the very One proclaiming: <span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“<i>Eli, Eli,lema</i> <i>sabachthani?”</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> as he redeemed us <i>all </i>from our brokenness. </span></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All things will be made new if we just give it to Him</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve seen Him change a scared, broken young woman with no sense of self-worth into a strong and mighty woman of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve witnessed this miracle in the life of my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see this miracle every morning when I look in the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are not promised our next breath.</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s ask the Lord to reveal the places in our heart where walls may still stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time does go by so fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure how many more Easter gatherings with my family I will be blessed with but I do know that every single one will be spent loving and cherishing my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is NO time for bitterness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I try to remember that we have all been broken in some way throughout our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some turn to addictions to cope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some run away. We hurt those we love. We allow our hurts to build walls. We deny ourselves <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and others </i>healing by gripping on to bitterness for dear life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Loosen the grip. Let bitterness fall to the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow God to chisel away at the walls we’ve built so that He can heal and reveal to us the TRUTH behind what our simple and selfish eyes have perceived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 22pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Buried inside the tomb we’ve built around our heart is a cry of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">VICTORY</i> ready to burst forth! <em>Let it!</em></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">1</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? <br />
Why are you so far from saving me, <br />
so far from my cries of anguish? <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14207">2</sup></b> My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, <br />
by night, but I find no rest.<sup value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-14207b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]"></sup></span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">3</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; <br />
you are the one Israel praises. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14209">4</sup></b> In you our ancestors put their trust; <br />
they trusted and you delivered them. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14210">5</sup></b> To you they cried out and were saved; <br />
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">6</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> But I am a worm and not a man, <br />
scorned by everyone, despised by the people. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14212">7</sup></b> All who see me mock me; <br />
they hurl insults, shaking their heads. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14213">8</sup></b> “He trusts in the LORD,” they say, <br />
“let the LORD rescue him. <br />
Let him deliver him, <br />
since he delights in him.”</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">9</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Yet you brought me out of the womb; <br />
you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14215">10</sup></b> From birth I was cast on you; <br />
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">11</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Do not be far from me, <br />
for trouble is near <br />
and there is no one to help.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">12</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Many bulls surround me; <br />
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14218">13</sup></b> Roaring lions that tear their prey <br />
open their mouths wide against me. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14219">14</sup></b> I am poured out like water, <br />
and all my bones are out of joint. <br />
My heart has turned to wax; <br />
it has melted within me. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14220">15</sup></b> My mouth is dried up like a potsherd, <br />
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; <br />
you lay me in the dust of death.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">16</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Dogs surround me, <br />
a pack of villains encircles me; <br />
they pierce my hands and my feet. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14222">17</sup></b> All my bones are on display; <br />
people stare and gloat over me. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14223">18</sup></b> They divide my clothes among them <br />
and cast lots for my garment.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">19</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> But you, LORD, do not be far from me. <br />
You are my strength; come quickly to help me. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14225">20</sup></b> Deliver me from the sword, <br />
my precious life from the power of the dogs. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14226">21</sup></b> Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; <br />
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">22</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> I will declare your name to my people; <br />
in the assembly I will praise you. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14228">23</sup></b> You who fear the LORD, praise him! <br />
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! <br />
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel! <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14229">24</sup></b> For he has not despised or scorned <br />
the suffering of the afflicted one; <br />
he has not hidden his face from him <br />
but has listened to his cry for help.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">25</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; <br />
before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14231">26</sup></b> The poor will eat and be satisfied; <br />
those who seek the LORD will praise him— <br />
may your hearts live forever!</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">27</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> All the ends of the earth <br />
will remember and turn to the LORD, <br />
and all the families of the nations <br />
will bow down before him, <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14233">28</sup></b> for dominion belongs to the LORD <br />
and he rules over the nations.</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b><sup><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">29</span></sup></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; <br />
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him— <br />
those who cannot keep themselves alive. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14235">30</sup></b> Posterity will serve him; <br />
future generations will be told about the Lord. <br />
<b><sup id="en-NIV-14236">31</sup></b> They will proclaim his righteousness, <br />
declaring to a people yet unborn: <br />
He has done it!</span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Psalm 22</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To my momma:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF7pccHjiaWD_DQQW0xnVKqK78UExw7rbxn0ao7rFlrxELojDUvSuvXseqeEfb6s2-TgO6BjUV6GetyTwfE0XEgeVBr2H1TH-11hTTH1x2ONP6WnS70tg5aEKA5K5Wo58I8xZT_wOygNc/s1600/u2.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF7pccHjiaWD_DQQW0xnVKqK78UExw7rbxn0ao7rFlrxELojDUvSuvXseqeEfb6s2-TgO6BjUV6GetyTwfE0XEgeVBr2H1TH-11hTTH1x2ONP6WnS70tg5aEKA5K5Wo58I8xZT_wOygNc/s200/u2.bmp" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you all the way to Heaven and back!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be blessed and remember to always be a blessing </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
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</div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-38392985782068843902011-03-31T13:42:00.000-04:002011-03-31T13:42:51.277-04:00What's LOVE Got To Do With It? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken???Tina, I couldn't have said it better myself! I mean, really. Why bother?<br />
<br />
I think it's safe to say that we have all had our hearts broken at least once in our life. Most of the time we KNOW when our hearts are being broken. It's real and in our face at the moment of impact. Other times it's a slow process. We don't realize the damage until years later; often when we are trying to heal from something else. I never realized how broken my heart had been having an alcoholic father who loved his drink more than he loved me. God had sent me the most wonderful "step dad" to fill that earthly void so growing up I was able to ignore the pain by filling the void with the love of my "dad". The actual trauma to my heart didn't become apparent until I had to face being abandoned by my husband. What I had perceived as a scarred heart all these years, was actually an open wound merely covered by a battle dressing.<br />
<br />
As a wound works to heal itself, pustulent clings desperately to the bandage for healing and rejuvenation. However, when a bandage is applied without a proper cleaning and medication, it merely hides the festering infection that grows underneath until the pain becomes so overwhelming that the only option is to remove the bandage and doctor the infection for relief. Removing the bandage causes even more pain as the clinging bandage takes tissue with it, leaving an exposed, raw, gaping wound; much worse than the original.<br />
If this is what love <em>lost</em> does to the heart, then why bother? Knowing how excruciating this pain is, how do I protect my children from it? Why take the chance again with my own heart?<br />
<br />
During our Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we were discussing how Elisha longed for a double portion of Elijah's spirit. We went around sharing what we would like to have a double portion of in each other. My sweet friend, who is also a single mom, made the comment that she would like to have a double portion of my strength. She added, "I don't know how you do it. If I had to deal with all <em>you</em> have had to deal with, I'd be in a mental institution!" We all laughed and through the laughter, everyone seemed to agree with her. I was taken back because when looking at each of these women, I see so much strength that it overwhelms me! And there <em>they</em> were, wanting a double portion of <em>my</em> strength. The "I don't know how you do it" comment stayed with me. The answer is simple. <br />
<br />
LOVE<br />
<br />
The very element that caused the hurt is the ONE and ONLY medication that will heal it. Isn't that so like God??? <br />
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The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. He uses <em>love</em> most often to bring us down because he knows the power that love holds. He twists and molds our perception of love until it's like looking at carnival mirrors and eventually the distorted image seems normal. We end up removing shards of broken images from our flesh as we foolishly follow the sound of the enemy's voice leading us into yet another fun house full of distorted mirrors.<br />
I see it battered women who stay with their abusers because they believe <em>that's</em> what love looks like. I see it in teenagers who take their own life because the one they love decided to love another. But I also see it in myself when I doubt my own self worth.<br />
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So how can love destroy and heal at the same time?<br />
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Love doesn't destroy. The enemy does. He <em>knows </em>the power of LOVE because LOVE cast him out of Heaven. LOVE was nailed to a cross along with all of our sins. LOVE busted open the gates of hell and rose victorious! The enemy <em>knows</em> that LOVE <strong>will</strong> come again. <br />
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How do we truly heal? The Word tells us that we are to be imitators of Christ. If Christ <em>IS</em> Love, how do we reflect that?<br />
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1 Corinthians 13 defines love for us. Before that, it emphasises how important and powerful love truly is. It tells us that we could have faith that moves mountains, but without love, we are NOTHING. We could speak in the language of the angels but without love, we may as well be blabbering idiots! So what is love?<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span></sup></strong> Love is patient, love is kind. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It does not envy, </div><div style="text-align: center;">it does not boast, it is not proud.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28671"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span></strong></sup> It does not dishonor others,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> it is not self-seeking,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> it is not easily angered, </div><div style="text-align: center;">it keeps no record of wrongs. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28672"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span></strong></sup> Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28673"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span></strong></sup> It always protects, </div><div style="text-align: center;">always trusts, </div><div style="text-align: center;">always hopes,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> always perseveres. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28674"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">8</span></strong></sup> Love never fails.</div>The chapter ends with:<br />
<div align="center"><strong><sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">13</span></sup></strong> And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.</div><div align="center"> But the greatest of these is love.</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>Love is patient, love is kind</em></strong>: The Lord is so patient with me and my fleshly tendencies and I need to be reminded of this when my patience runs thin with others. Being kind is a reflection of patience which in turn, is reflecting Christ.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud</em></strong>. I've never been one to long for material possessions. I've never cared about having "bigger and better". I've never based my success on the <em>things</em> I can show off. Envy, boastfulness, and pride doesn't always relate to material things. My struggle: Being envious of my married friends who have husbands who love the Lord and their lives reflect it. Boasting and pride over my children being such good kids with kind hearts; as if it were <em>my</em> accomplishment. I'm constantly having to remind myself that EVERYTHING I have comes for the Lord (including being a single mom) and to HIM be all the glory, honor and praise. <br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <strong><em>It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. </em></strong>This one I struggle with the most. I was actually delayed in posting this entry because I didn't want to be a hypacrit. While writing this entry, I was served with legal papers stating that my ex-husband is taking me back to court to get child support lowered. It was such a harsh blow; especially having seen him pick up the kids just weeks earlier in a brand new $42,000 truck. When he abandoned us almost 4 years ago, he also abandoned all parental responsibilty, never taking an active role in the children's life. Out of the 365 days in 2010, he spent less than 10 days with the children. So, you can imagine when I read the papers, all my flesh wanted to do is <em>dishonor</em> him! Find a way to hurt him to make <em>myself</em> feel better! I was <em>ANGRY</em>! And I immediately pulled out my little notebook of the ex's <em>wrongdoings </em>and began looking for a lawyer. I had to take some time to refocus and turn my fleshly anger into righteous anger before sharing with you. It's a daily struggle for sure.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth </em></strong>This relates to what I just shared. There is a fine line between revenge and justice when it comes to our heart's desire. I pray daily for discernment between the two. Our God <em>is</em> a just God! He will <em>always</em> go to bat for us! We need to make sure that it's justice we pray for and not revenge.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <strong><em>It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.</em></strong> I think about my role as a mother when I read this. The love I have for my children is so strong that my first instinct is to protect them, even if it meant sacrificing my own life. To trust that they will always be in the Lord's favor. I'm always hoping that I am doing all that I can to help fulfill the Lord's will in their lives. And I will NEVER give up! I may cry myself to sleep some nights out of pure exhaustion, but JOY comes in the morning! I will always stand back up because greater is HE who is in me!<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <strong><em>Love never fails.</em></strong> Again, GREATER is HE who is in me, than the brokeness that once defined me! I fail on a daily bases, but LOVE has never failed me. When I'm black and blue and cut to pieces from running into all those fun house mirrors, it's<em> true</em> LOVE who mends my breaks!<br />
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FAITH: Truely believing that the <em>will</em> of God will never take us where the <em>grace</em> of God will not protect us.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
HOPE: Truely believeing that whatever we may be going through, God is not only going see us through it, He will justify it and use it to bring GLORY to His name!<br />
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LOVE: <strong>SALVATION </strong><em>the greatest of these </em><br />
<em></em></div><br />
<em>KNOW LOVE</em>. Truly <em>know</em> love! Know what love is <strong>not</strong>. Never give up on love because Love has never given up on you.<br />
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<em>Be blessed and remember to always be a blessing</em><br />
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</div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-4193010647149692332011-02-18T17:49:00.001-05:002011-02-18T17:51:05.991-05:00Please excuse me. I'll be right with you! This will take just a minute. I need to lose my mind for a brief moment...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Overwhelmed</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">verb</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1. To overcome completely in mind or feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2. To overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since making my New Year’s Resolutions, I feel like I have been living in a snow globe being shaken by a toddler with ADHD!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny how things go bananas as soon as you start making plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The devotion and prayer time with the kids has been precious!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only successful resolution so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmm… maybe the rest is all spiritual backlash as a result.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I made a commitment to be home by 4:00 everyday so that I can be there as the kids get off the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT LIFE</b> has gotten in the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The computer charting and billing system we us at the office went out of business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m in charge of our system change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am fully convinced that successfully climbing Everest would be an easier task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are days when I get home at 6, get the kids fed, in the bath, in the bed, and I start working again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There<em> is</em> a little peace in knowing that it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> all be somewhat settled in a few weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I tried dating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been on dates with three different guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last guy seemed to be very promising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I met his parents and he met my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even allowed myself to get excited at the possibilities… <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT LIFE</b> (his life) wasn’t all it seemed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should’ve known better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It never fails, as soon as I start getting optimistic BAM! I get knocked upside the head with some craziness from out in left field!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, did I mention that this happened the day before Valentine’s Day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either I am a magnet for deceitful men or there just aren’t any (single) genuinely good Christian men left in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as I want to use bitterness as a coping/protection mechanism, God didn’t create me to be that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As disappointing as it is and as hurtful as it can be, I have such peace in knowing that the Holy Spirit is close enough to me to reveal the truth before my heart gets too invested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If all that wasn’t enough, my ex tells me he is will be skipping yet another weekend. A weekend I’m scheduled to attend a work <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">conference</i> in Atlanta <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT LIFE</b> left me scrambling to figure out how I am going to get four kids to baseball practice at four different times and still make the trip!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">PAUSE</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">: <em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We need to add the recent emotional strains regarding the death of my step father and the stress of throwing the most fabulous baby shower EVER for my nephew and his wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s not forget it’s ONLY February.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was an emotional wreck to say the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My poor kids! Sometimes I pray extra hard that they grow up <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">normal</i> having such a loony mother raising them! </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was doing really well keeping it together until I looked at their sweet faces as they were getting ready for bed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t hold it in anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything I do, I do with these precious babies in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They deserve so much better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I went from room to room tucking each in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">as snug as a bug in a rug</i>, I dismissed my tears by explaining that mommy wasn’t feeling very well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My six year old little boy is always my last stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I told him that I was crying because I wasn’t feeling very well, he reached out from under the covers, wiped my cheek and asked, “Is your heart sick?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The floodgates flew wide open! I felt his little hand patting my back after I scooped him up in my arms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then in true Jackson form, he pulls back and hands me a headless action figure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mommy, Luke Skywalker has a sick heart, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lost his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked for seben-teen hours but I can’t find it.” My burst of tears instantly became a burst of laughter and I showered him with kisses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back in my room, I was writing letters to some friends who are preparing to work a Christian retreat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had managed to stuff the hurt down again <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT LIFE</b> entered in and the tears began again as I held a small wooden box that belonged to my dad. He has been gone for 20 years and I have cherished his little wooden box since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would he do if he were still here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He would ride in on a white horse with full armor and colors flying, destroying every obstacle that blocked my path, defeating any enemy that would threaten my heart, and win back every tear and every ounce of self-worth lost! Wait….</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Psalm 18:17-24 (The Message)</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But me he caught—reached all the way</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">from sky to sea; he pulled me out</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">the void in which I was drowning.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They hit me when I was down,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">but God stuck by me.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He stood me up on a wide-open field;</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God made my life complete</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">when I placed all the pieces before him.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I got my act together,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">he gave me a fresh start.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I'm alert to God's ways;</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don't take God for granted.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every day I review the ways he works;</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I try not to miss a trick.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I feel put back together,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">and I'm watching my step.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">God rewrote the text of my life</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Overwhelmed</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">verb</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1. To overcome completely in mind or feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2. To overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we allow God to be our Father, our Redeemer, our <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>, He changes our definitions. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why have I let these earthly things overwhelm me when I have the CREATOR who promises to overwhelm anything that comes against me?!?!</span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because I am human, made of flesh and bones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">BUT GOD</span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may be weak at times; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD</b> is always strong!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may be full of doubt at times; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD</b> has had a plan for my life even before He created the stars!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may feel all alone at times; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD</b> has never left my side!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may feel overwhelmed by life; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD</b> overwhelms all that comes against me!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may walk in the flesh at times; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD</b> became flesh so that my soul doesn’t have to perish for the sins of my flesh!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am so thankful that there is a BUT GOD for every situation in my life!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s remind ourselves that for every <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT LIFE</b> moment we have, there is a more powerful <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT GOD </b>truth that will overwhelm them all!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be Blessed and always remember to be a blessing!</span></span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-71232026770542594602011-01-27T21:17:00.000-05:002011-01-27T21:17:54.173-05:00Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again. ~William Shakespeare<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <em>One thing have I desired of the LORD, that I will seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple.</em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><em>Psalm 27:4</em> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>January 11, 2011 my step father went to be with the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had been ill for a while. In August he fell and broke his hip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His health rapidly declined after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went back and forth from the hospital to the rehab facility, only coming home for a few hours at Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thursday, the doctors finally sent him home and around 10:40 Saturday night, he took his last breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His life story, written by the very hand of the Creator, is so fascinating to me that I wanted to share it with everyone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jeffery David Freeman was born August 9, 1945 in Brooklyn, New York to Leo and Lillian Freemen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leo and Lillian met flying airplanes during WWII.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From what I understand, Leo was a fighter pilot and I believe Lillian was a WASP.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(The hopeless romantic in me LOVES that part!)They settled in Brooklyn where Leo opened a creative art studio and Lillian was happy to start raising a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In May of 1947, Lillian received word that her mother suffered a severe stroke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The couple made arrangements to fly to Cleveland as quickly as possible; leaving Jeff, not quite two years old, in the care of a nursemaid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the airplane raced down the runway at New York’s La Guardia Airport, a change in wind prevented the four engine plane from leaving the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to one newspaper article, the DC-4 skidded 1000 feet before it lost control and eventually crashed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>35 people perished including Leo and Lillian Freeman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Imagine losing both parents before real memories could even be branded on your heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jeff was placed with an aunt and uncle who cared more about their wealth than they did about raising this precious little lost soul; a soul that would remain lost for many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff shared stories of his childhood that continue to break my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stories of fending for himself, feeling alone, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">being</i> alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stories of flying his uncle’s airplane while his uncle entertained in the back of the plane. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff was only twelve years old. Not only does my heart break for that little boy but as a mother, my heart breaks for Lillian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t imagine my child having to live such a life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As he grew older, he graduated from an elite military school and went on receive several degrees including a law degree from Emory University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He married and became a step father to a son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not ever knowing a father’s love himself, Jeff didn’t take an active role in this young man’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, neither did the boys mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, the boy grew to be a man in school far away while Jeff and his wife lived an adventurous life riding motorcycles across the country, taking trips around the world, and doing what he loved most which was flying airplanes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved his toys!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cars, motorcycles, airplanes, and I think he even purchased a boat although I hear he wasn’t a very good sailor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jeff met my mother in 2006, three years after his wife passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She knew that Jeff wasn’t a “believer” but that didn’t stop this patron saint of lost causes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She loved him enough to NOT give up on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He showered her with lavish gifts (which she gladly accepted) but he couldn’t understand that a stolen kiss was worth more to her than a thousand diamonds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff grew up believing that money and the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stuff</i> money buys determines your happiness as well as your worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother was raised (and my family believes) that happiness is equated to how much you love and that our worth was sealed by an empty tomb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was just too much for his analytical and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">unbelieving</i> mind to comprehend. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In January of 2009, Jeff had a cancerous kidney removed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a history of diabetes, his remaining kidney was almost non-functioning and so dialysis began and slowly his health declined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff was part of our family now and I my heart ached thinking of him leaving this earth a lost soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was ready and willing to give him my own kidney.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed, “God, please let me be a match!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t let him die without knowing you!”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That April, God answered my prayers and He did it without using my kidney.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff’s blood sugar dropped deathly low and he was rushed to the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother said she kept telling him to hang on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Just hang on Jeff! Hang on!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not too many people know this but Jeff actually died that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He came back with a truth that left us all speechless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He described holding on to a stone wall inside of a well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was adamant that this was NO dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me, “it was as real as you standing before me now”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the bottom of the well was a person he knew (a person who did not know Christ), calling his name to join her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he held on to that wall as tight as he could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t know why but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something</i> was telling him to “hold on” and he knew that whatever was at the bottom of that deep, dark well was evil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he knew beyond any doubt that that there is a God in heaven and he asked Christ to become Lord of his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">From that day until last Saturday the Lord worked in Jeff’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He revealed things to Jeff that he couldn’t see before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeff even asked his step son to forgive him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Christ, there truly is grace, forgiveness, mercy and healing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">His final moments on this earth were so peaceful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone had gone home and the room was quiet. The room glowed with the light from the fireplace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was on one side of Jeff and Mom was on the other. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I played music to help him relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of the sudden he tried to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I couldn’t understand his words, it was obvious that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he </i>knew what he was saying and in graceful elegance, my mother became an angel as she answered every one of his questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She eased his mind of all worries and concerns then, with tears streaming down her face, she told him that if he sees the light to go to it because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this time</i> it was okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus would be waiting for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told him to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">run</i> into the arms of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With those words he stopped talked and his body relaxed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched as his face saw a world I have only read about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the music played, “So take me to a place where I can see You face to face. All I want to do is worship you, Lord”, he smiled bigger and brighter than my simple words can describe and we watched as his soul left with his final breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my 36 years of life, I have never felt as close to touching Heaven as I did in that precious moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a priceless gift I was given!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will never look at death the same way again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that when I lose someone who knows Christ, I won’t be able to grieve as I once did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A new understanding of joy has been revealed to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, with that joy came a new level of sorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart grieves so much deeper for those who refuse to believe and accept salvation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jeff’s story is a beautiful picture of forgiveness and redemption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A man who started his life without a father began his eternal life in the arms of his Heavenly Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An orphaned son who was never taught to be father, sought forgiveness from his own broken son. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The impossible not only becomes possible, it becomes Love’s true <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">miracle</i> in the scars of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lord never said this life would be easy but He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> promise that with Him you will NOT go through it alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">will</b> be waiting with open arms when it’s your time to go home just as He was waiting when Jeff ran into His arms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This mortal life is so short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why waste one second?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Steal as many kisses as you can!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Laugh till your cheeks hurt!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be a father to the fatherless!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be a mother to a broken soul! Love with all you have! Reconcile so that you may have peace!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgive so that you may heal! Accept GRACE and FORGIVENESS so that you can begin to prepare for a life that is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eternal</i></b>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <em>The song that was playing as Jeff entered Heaven:</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBtx0GAASe0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBtx0GAASe0</a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is an article about the airplane crash:</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">http://www3.gendisasters.com/new-york/2495/new-york,-ny-laguardia-airport-airplane-crash,-may-1947</span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-46480839631323385602011-01-12T20:46:00.000-05:002011-01-12T20:46:54.372-05:00"Girl, I will set it off up in here. She don't know me. You better be glad you at church. Jesus just saved your life, Hallelu-yer!" Madea, Madea's Family Reunion<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Growing up, my dad would tell me I’d make a great lawyer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the time I wasn’t really sure what he meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look back now and laugh, understanding his words clearly. I was an argumentative child but I wasn’t a brat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw the world in black and white and for the life of me couldn’t understand how people allow injustice to exist. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In second grade I beat up 3 little boys on the playground for making my friend cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were teasing her because she wore braces on her legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As she told me what they were saying I didn’t just see the hurt on her face; I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">felt </i>the breaking of her heart as if it were being crushed inside my own chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As my blood began to boil, I looked through the crowds of faceless students until I spotted the three perpetrators still laughing and looking for their next victim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without a second of hesitation, my feet began to sprint and before I knew it, I was airborne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I landed, I took out all three boys and my fists started flying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few minutes later I was respectfully arguing my case in the principal’s office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must have made a pretty persuasive argument because not only did I NOT get sent home for three days (like the three disheveled bullies who sat before me), the principal didn’t even call my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>JUSTICE WAS SERVED.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">My dad loved this about me. Not the part about using my fists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved that I longed to rid the world of injustice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I saw a man on the side of the road holding a sign that read <i>Will work for food </i>I was going to feed them!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents could have scoffed about it (knowing it was more than likely a scam) but instead they nurtured my compassionate heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Better to ere on the side of righteousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They allowed me to be angry at the face of injustice and encouraged me to take a stand when I felt led.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My dad and I would have these deep, heated discussions where he would make me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think</i> and break down problems until the solution was evident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then with a smile he would say, “You just won your case”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I remember getting frustrated during one particular discussion regarding children who had been taken from their abusive home. My frustration turned to anger when none of my solutions would work and all I could say was, “Well, that’s just not fair!” </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Without missing a beat he responded with, “Who ever said life was fair?”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was hurt and disappointed in his response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before walking away feeling completely defeated I implored him, “Please don’t ever say that to me again”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He never did.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t become a lawyer but the desire for righteous justice and fairness still dwells within me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, growing older has made me cynical about a few things however, the belief in justice is not one of them.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I believe at some point in life we all connect with at least one particular person who seems to be living comfy, cozy, and completely content embedded as the thorn in our side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They seem to be able to hurt whomever they want yet never get hurt in return. They steal from others and end up getting even more than they had taken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They turn on their own family and get a pat on the back for a job well done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems no matter how hard we try to live right or do right by others or how hard we strive to be like Christ, the thorns always seem to come out on top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have you walking away feeling defeated by the unfairness of it all. Are you the type to admit defeat and find that it’s easier to just walk away than to fight what seems to be a losing battle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or are you more like me? Walking away feeling defeated yet responding with confidence to the enemy who whispers <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">who said life was fair?</i> with a bold “Don’t ever say that to me again!”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m in a very delicate place at the moment. I desire to reflect Christ in every aspect of my life and the thorn in my side (also known as my ex husband) has fogged the line between righteous anger and anger born of my flesh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some will debate that there is a difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Word of God clearly states that there is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anger is a natural emotion that we all share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have all been created in the image of God (Gen 1:27) and our emotions are a part of His creation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gift</i> He has given each one of us free will; the ability to independently choose and make decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These facts lead me to ask: </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is there a difference between righteous anger and sinful anger?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How does my reaction to anger help/hinder my walk and the path of those around me?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">God’s anger appears throughout the Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2 Kings 22 tells us how <b><i>great</i></b> His anger can be. Jesus was so angry at the sight of the temple being used as the local strip mall that he started turning over tables!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deuteronomy 4:24 tell us that He is a <i>consuming fire</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever sat and watched a fire consume something?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a very happy or peaceful sight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since we know that God is righteous, therefore everything about Him is righteous leading to the conclusion that there is in fact a righteous anger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore, since we are created in His image, we have the ability to possess a righteous anger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, is all anger righteous?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Absolutely not!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">God’s anger NEVER comes out of frustration or confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read somewhere that God’s anger is a direct and calculated response to sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Isn’t that a fabulous revelation!?)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So getting irate when someone cuts you off on the express way or your blood pressure reaching stroke level over a waitress who gets your order wrong is NOT righteous anger. It isn’t a sin to not check your bind spot when changing lanes. It's certainly not a sin remember incorrectly! Aren't we all grateful for that!</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday was a real battle for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry to the point of tears!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thorn in my side decided that a court ordered child support agreement should bend to fit <i>his</i> needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first words that come to mind regarding my reaction yesterday are frustration and confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend sent me a scripture that her husband (who I think is a wonderful husband and father) wanted to share with me.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Romans 12:20</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My first response was, “Can I skip the eating and drinking and just heap burning coals on his head?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m pretty sure that response wasn’t coming from righteous anger!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, after I took a shower and refreshed my spirit I revisited the verse once more but this time I started a few verses before and ended with the verse after.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” </span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 4.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Romans 20:17-21</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So we must ask ourselves<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, why am I angry?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I angry over an injustice outlined in scripture to be a direct consequence of sin? Or am I angry simply because I haven’t gotten my way? How do I respond in anger?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“In your anger, do not sin.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ephesians 4:26<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">We are cautioned to not be so quick in our anger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even righteous anger can lead to a sinful response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A father’s righteous anger over the murder of his daughter isn’t justified by killing the murderer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may seem that way especially to those of you reading this who has children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But think about the consequences when we repay evil with evil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the time our first thought may be that we don’t care what happens to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let them lock me up and throw away the key because I have brought justice to my daughter.</i> But what happens to the wife and family left behind?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our reaction to anger, even righteous anger can have a devastating ripple effect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is my anger toward my ex husband a righteous anger?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this particular situation, believe that it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not taking care of the children you abandoned goes against God's Word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was my response a righteous response?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Initially, not so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> able to keep the outburst away from my children and had enough wisdom to contact those who I trust to give me good GODLY advice and who I trusted to gently talk me down from my irrational ledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really </i>wanted my flesh to see instant justice, I was slow to act on that desire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As hard as it is for me, I must be slow in my anger and trust that God’s Word is true!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">will</i></b> bring justice and judgment but in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i> perfect timing and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not</b> according to my desire for quick justification. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If my anger comes from my flesh then I need to repent and change my heart!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why get angry over the small things that have no eternal worth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many times we waste our energy being angry because we are stuck in holiday traffic inside our nice warm cars while a homeless man shivers under the overpass next to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If seeing children disrespect their parents, employees being sloppy or lazy on the job, or watching a parent weighing their child down with unrealistic expectations angers you, it’s a righteous anger. (Ephesians 6) </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">How I react to righteous anger is crucial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Walking over and disciplining someone else’s disrespectful child may not be a wise response!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Our response to righteous anger will be different according to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how God is telling us to respond</i>.</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">We must seek the Lord with all of our heart and listen to what He is telling us to do. If we are still unsure, ask those around us who we <i>trust</i> to pray for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our God is faithful! He may tell us to be bold and courageous or He may tell us to just be still and know that He is Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, <i>The will of God will never lead us to a place where the grace of God will not protect us.</i></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Flying through the air with a rebel yell and beating the snot out of three bullies may not be how God is calling you to react.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm pretty certain that dismembering a cheating spouse isn't a righteous response either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, if you have a righteous anger regarding broken homes maybe God is calling you to start a divorce care group or if you have a righteous anger for children who have been abandoned, maybe he is calling you to respond by opening your home to those children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know right now in my situation, my response is to wait on the Lord as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i> justice is revealed in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i> perfect timing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be blessed! And even in your righteous anger, be a blessing!</span></span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-5997536370022403242011-01-04T12:56:00.002-05:002011-01-04T13:02:08.425-05:00New Years Resolution ReVOlution!<div class="header"><span class="pg"></span><br />
<div class="header"><span class="pg"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>res·o·lu·tion<sup></sup></strong> <span class="show_spellpr" style="display: inline;"><span class="prondelim">[</span><span class="pron">rez-<span class="ital-inline"><em><span style="font-family: Georgia;">uh</span></em></span>-<span class="boldface"><strong>loo</strong></span>-sh<em><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span class="ital-inline">uh</span><img alt="" border="0" class="luna-Img" src="http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png" /></span></em>n</span><span class="prondelim">] <span class="pg"><strong><em>–noun </em></strong>a formal expression of opinion or intention made; the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose</span></span></span><span class="pronset"><script language="javascript">
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<span class="pg"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS;"><strong>rev·o·lu·tion<sup></sup></strong></span></span> <span class="show_spellpr" style="display: inline;"><span class="prondelim">[</span><span class="pron">rev-<span class="ital-inline"><em><span style="font-family: Georgia;">uh</span></em></span>-<span class="boldface"><strong>loo</strong></span>-sh<em><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span class="ital-inline">uh</span><img alt="" border="0" class="luna-Img" src="http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png" /></span></em>n</span><span class="prondelim">] <span class="pg"><strong><em>–noun </em></strong>a sudden, complete or marked change in something; a radical and pervasive change</span></span></span></span><br />
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</div></div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><span class="pg">I'm curious... how many of you make New Years Resolutions and actually succeed in what you have set out to accomplish? I must confess, I'm not sure I ever have! I don't even remember what my resolutions were last year. I'm sure I was excited, determined, and more than likely it had to do with weight loss. </span><br />
<span class="pg">W</span><span class="pg">hat's the point in having resolutions if nothing gets resolved??? Of course I did research on the history of New Years Resolutions and, as you may have guessed, it's a pagan thing. Like most pagan rituals, good and Godly things can come from it if we take it back and use it for the glory of God and that's what I have decided to do. </span><br />
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<span class="pg">REALLY wanting to succeed in this endeavour, I decided I needed a game plan. </span><br />
</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><span class="pg">1. PRAY and come up with a list of areas in my life in which I'm truly seeking change.</span></div><div class="header"><span class="pg">2. Dig deep within myself and be honest about why I feel the need to change these things.</span></div><div class="header"><span class="pg">3. Determine if the goal is realistic (I once had a resolution to lose 25lbs and audition for a major motion picture by June. At the time I was 127lbs and just graduated high school)</span></div><div class="header">4. Research and write down what it will take to reach that goal.</div><div class="header">5. Begin the REVOLUTION<br />
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</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><strong>Resolution #1</strong></div><div class="header"><em><strong>Be a Better Mother</strong></em></div><div class="header"><strong>Why:</strong> Although I love my children with every fiber of my being, I feel that I have fallen short in so many areas. I have gotten lackadaisical in my parenting out of pure exhaustion. Being a working single mom with 4 kids who are active in sports and church activities isn't so easy. What <strong><em>is</em> </strong>easy is letting them get away with not cleaning their room or picking up after themselves, cruising in a fast food drive-thru instead of making a healthy home cooked meal, rushing them into the bath and a two second tuck into bed instead of taking the time to read to them and pray with them before they close their eyes, and most of all its easier to blame all of this on being a single working mom of 4 instead of accepting the strength that God offers and doing the job I've been called to do as a mother regardless of how difficult or tiring it may be.</div><div class="header"><strong>Realistic: </strong>Absolutely!</div><div class="header"><strong>Plan: </strong>1. Pray for strength. Write down as many scriptures as I can on strength and God's grace and carry them with me at all times. This way when I am tempted to slide back into laziness, I can pull out a card and draw strength from God's promises. </div><div class="header">2. Plan meals on a weekly bases according to our schedule and use the crock pot A LOT.</div><div class="header">3. Follow through with the chore chart.</div><div class="header">4. Start having daily devotions and prayer time as a family again.<br />
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</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><strong>Resolution #2</strong></div><div class="header"><strong><em>Become Healthier</em></strong></div><div class="header"><strong>Why: </strong>My head automatically says, <em>because your chubby butt needs to lose about 15 pounds!</em> If I let the "why" end there, this would definitely be an unrealistic resolution. I have fought with body image issues my entire life. I battled with bulimia and anorexia until I became pregnant with my first child. Even now, I fight with the voices in the back of my mind that tell me I'm not good enough because my body is so very far from perfect. I win that battle every day by telling those voices that I have been created in my Father's image! However, I'm pretty certain that God isn't packing on an extra 15 pounds of cellulite! If I have been created in the image of God and if my body is supposed to a temple, I may be in danger of a 30 day notice! The reality is I AM a daughter of the Most High, I AM a single mom and my babies depend on me, and I AM living an unhealthy lifestyle that will only cause destruction.</div><div class="header"><strong>Realistic: </strong>Absolutely</div><div class="header"><strong>Plan: </strong>1. Pray every morning for a healthy spirit, healthy mind, and healthy body. Do NOT focus on <em>weight loss.</em></div><div class="header">2. Cut out my beloved Diet Coke and only treat myself to a white chocolate mocha once a month.</div><div class="header">3. Prepare meals at home (which co insides with my Better Mommy plan)</div><div class="header">4. Do some form of exercise at least 3 times a week. Definitely getting back into yoga! My back will be so happy!<br />
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</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><strong>Resolution #3</strong></div><div class="header"><strong><em>Start Dating Again</em></strong></div><div class="header"><strong>Why: </strong>As you all know (if you have read my earlier bog entries) I'm not a big fan of the whole dating scene. Taking a closer look at myself, I've realized that I have over analyzed the whole process. It just didn't make sense to me to keep putting myself out there and wasting time (and risking my heart) with someone who may not work out anyway. I would pick these poor guys apart trying to find ways it <em>wouldn't</em> work out between us. Example: He lives too far and probably wouldn't want to move because of ... and I can't uproot my kids so it wouldn't work out. The thought process may be practical but it's left me with a very boring social life. On the weekends the kids are with their father, I am at home reading, writing, sewing, or watching old black and white movies. I absolutely LOVE doing these things! However, none of them are "social" activities and none of them really scream <em>adventure. </em>Besides the once-a-month singles event at my bull-riding friend's church, I haven't made an effort to meet new people. In an attempt to broaden my horizons, I shall take a chance and place my lamp back in the window; not because I think I need a man to complete me but because I finally <em>know </em>that I am already complete and strong enough to take on a little adventure. And if God decides to introduce me to my future husband, I will be open to His will.</div><div class="header"><strong>Realistic:</strong> Absolutely (says the hopeless romantic in me who longs for adventure) Yes, I believe so (says the realistic scenic who just found another gray hair)</div><div class="header"><strong>Plan:</strong> 1. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and hearts where they belong (in the chest protected by muscle and bone and not on the sleeve).</div><div class="header">2. Stop expecting and start enjoying.</div><div class="header">3. Stop looking at each man as a potential husband and look at him as a potential <em>good friend</em>.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header"><strong>Resolution #4</strong><br />
<strong><em>Finish my Novel</em></strong></div><div class="header"><strong>Why:</strong> I am actually working on my second novel which I started over two years ago. Writing is passion of mine and I believe to be a gift. There is a longing in my spirit to see it through.</div><div class="header"><strong>Realistic:</strong> Yes. </div><div class="header"><strong>Plan:</strong> This one is a little more difficult. Since my writing is inspired and not forced it seems impossible to set aside a block of time on a regular bases to write. </div><div class="header">1. Pray for wisdom, guidance, and inspiration.</div><div class="header">2. Set short term goals. Have at least 5 chapters written every three months. (this may change).</div><div class="header">3. Carry a notebook with me to write whenever I feel inspired.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header">I long to be who God is calling me to be. The problem is, I'm not sure who she is half the time. I get so lost as I try to conquer the world of little league, cheerleading, and tween dating! That's why I chose these particular resolutions from my list of many. I'm in need of a REVOLUTION! A marked change in my life. <br />
<br />
</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header">The lyrics to a song by the Christian band <em>Switchfoot</em> keep ringing in my ears:</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header">Dreaming about Providence<br />
And whether mice or men have second tries <br />
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open <br />
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken <br />
We were meant to live for so much more <br />
Have we lost ourselves? <br />
Somewhere we live inside....</div><div class="header">We want more than this world's got to offer <br />
We want more than the wars of our fathers <br />
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah<br />
We were meant to live for so much more <br />
<br />
</div><div class="header"></div><div class="header">All of my resolutions are a means to reach my main goal which is a better understanding of who God is calling me to be. There are certain things in my life in which I have felt the Lord's pull and I'm tired of being lost in my own mayhem. We were <strong><em><u>all</u></em></strong> created to be so much more. Let's BE more! Let's seek who we are called to be! Make a list of resolutions that will create a <em>revolution</em> in your life and open your heart and your mind to a new understanding of why you were created and what purpose the Creator wants to fulfill in you!<br />
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</div><div class="header">Happy New Year!!! Be blessed and don't forget to be a blessing! Feel free to share with us your resolutions! </div><div class="header"> </div><div class="header"></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-55577988607393330432010-12-11T15:50:00.000-05:002010-12-11T15:50:30.683-05:00He sees you when you're sleeping? He knows when you're Awake???... That worries me. (Tim Gunn, Lifetime Channel Commercial)<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I recently had the most wonderful conversation with my 14 year old son regarding Santa Claus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During a car ride home, my six year old began singing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Santa Claus is coming to Town</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After my daughter joined him in the chorus, my very wise eldest child (and co-pilot) turns to me and asks, “Who came up with Santa Claus anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t you find it creepy? I mean, why would anyone be excited about an old fat man knowing when your kids are sleeping then sneaking in your house?” I BURST into laughter!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first thought was the Tim Gunn commercial for Lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Believing strongly in teachable moments (and after we had both enjoyed a good chuckle), I shared the story of Saint Nicholas which left <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ME</i> pondering the motivation of my own heart this Christmas season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nicholas was born to wealthy Christian parents during the third century on the southern coast of Turkey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His parents died when he was a young boy. As he grew older, he was convicted by the teachings of Christ and in obedience he used his ENITRE inheritance to help those in need and dedicated the rest of his life to serving Christ, even being imprisoned for his faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How the story of this Godly man with such a giving heart and love for the Lord has turned into a fable of an “old fat man knowing when your kids are sleeping then sneaking in your house” is very unfortunate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since that night, jolly old Saint Nick (the real one) has been on my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started looking at around at the people in my life, my church home, the town I live in, the place where I work, the schools my children go to and I became overwhelmed and completely humbled by my surroundings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as I stopped focusing on the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">one</b> part of my life that feels incomplete, I was able to experience the countless blessings that I couldn’t possibly begin to deserve!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This revelation came into focus several nights ago: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Early December and evening has set in the crisp North Georgia mountains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Excitement fills our home as the much anticipated Christmas decorating festivities begin! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Laughter and jubilation abolishes any remnant of sadness or worry as we prepare for Jesus’ Birthday celebration! </span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I remember being a little girl and how the pure joy of this moment would beam out of every pore of my being!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 35 years, that is one thing that hasn’t changed in me. I sat back and watched as my children decorated the Christmas tree with all the ornaments made by their own little hands; some not so little anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cherished the sight and thanked God for the gift of that moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became clear that my selfish and undeserving flesh has not stood in the way of God pouring out His Grace, Mercy and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">BLESSING</i> all over my life!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have the most wonderful family and friends who inspire and encourage me every day!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am ecstatic to be part of a church family whose desire is to obey God and run full force in His will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where my children are learning more than Bible stories; they are learning what it means to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Christ-like</i> and are actually going out and meeting the needs in our community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where a single mother (as stubborn and independent she feels she must be) can rest assured that her babies will stay warm this winter thanks to her “family members”.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I live in a town where the people take care of each other whether they know you or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My children attend schools where they are allowed to celebrate Christmas!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My six year old (who is being tested for learning disabilities) has a teacher who refuses to give up on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EVERY child in her class is blessed having her in their lives!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve never known a teacher who gives as much as she does!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What she teaches goes so far beyond textbooks and will be with my baby through the years as he grows into a man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She blesses this mother’s heart!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only imagine how much she blesses the Father’s heart!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have the most AMAZING job!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t thank God enough for placing me there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My patients bless my heart daily. I am able to work for one of my <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dearest</i></b> friends!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is a brilliant physician and surgeon and although she has the prestige of being called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Doctor</i>, I have never met a more humble and giving woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She truly cares about her family, friends and her patients; not just physically but spiritually. My ring tone for her sums up who she is to me: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sometimes I swear I don’t know if I’m coming or going but you always say something without even knowing and I’m hanging on to your words with all of my might and it’s alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>She and her husband totally win <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mr. and Ms. Saint Nick 2010</i>!!! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My focused has changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the longing is still there to NOT be single, it’s such a small piece of void compared to the bulging blessings that fill the rest of my heart!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to be a giver like Saint Nicholas and all the people I am surrounded by everyday!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to live in the fantasy of Santa Claus where the motivation of my being “naughty or nice” depends on what I can <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">get</i></b>! I have MORE than I could ask for and far more than I deserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">BLESSING</i> as we go through this hectic holiday season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s stay focused on WHO we are celebrating and what “gifts” we can give <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Him</i> for His Birthday! </span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-4009207971472219342010-11-25T09:58:00.000-05:002010-11-25T09:59:46.715-05:00Give Thanks with a Grateful (and not-so-grateful) Heart!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">According to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, there are 5 stages of grief (not necessarily in any particular order):</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 63pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Shock</b>: The sudden impact of the initial collision with the “bad news”</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 63pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Denia</b>l: Willing yourself to NOT believe it’s happened</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 63pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Anger</b>: Outpouring of belligerence at the wrong that has been done</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 63pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Bargaining</b>: Making deals to erase the circumstance</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 63pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Acceptance</b>: Realizing the reality of it </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last weekend, a dear friend of mine suffered a devastating loss when her house was destroyed by fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are such a family of faith and have had a couple of blows to the gut this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watching them give thanks to God for protecting their family in the midst of such a tragedy not only humbled me, it also made me realize that I have been living in the “acceptance” stage for some time now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s so easy to give thanks for the good things in our life. Can you imagine the Norman Rockwell family gathered for Thanksgiving dinner, taking turns giving thanks for the tragedies they had experienced? Maybe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the outcomes were positive or the way we had hoped they would turn out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you ever thanked God in the beginning or middle of a tragedy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember being in the “anger” stage after my husband left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God was supposed to be bigger than the sin that turned my husband from his family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, why wasn’t He asserting his “GOD POWERS” and changing my husband’s heart?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wasn’t I praying hard enough?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(transition to bargaining) If You would just turn his heart back to his family, I promise I will (insert Proverbs 31 woman here).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would have happened if God answered that prayer the way I wanted Him to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have given thanks and praise!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, God answered my prayer according to His will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no thanks and praise given.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember the night I finally “accepted” the fact my marriage was over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Burrowed in my empty bed, I wept to my Creator, “I can’t feel you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t hear you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t see you in any of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know in my soul that you are real and that your Word is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s all I have and it’s what I will stand on.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Looking back, I can see God’s grace and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like all the other tragedies in my life, He never left my side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The abandonment I felt from my husband was so profound that it felt I had been abandoned by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone</i> including the One my heart loved the most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why is it so hard to trust Him during times like these when He proves Himself time and time again? His will is always going to be best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been several times since the divorce that I have looked at my ex and said, “Thank you, Lord!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(it’s okay to laugh)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Was divorce God’s will?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Divorce was the result of sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all have our own “why’s”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did my child die?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did I lose my job? Why do I have cancer? Why can’t I have a baby? Why am I still single?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God WILL answer your questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately we are such selfish creatures who turn our backs on God when He doesn’t answer the way we want Him to or when we think He isn’t answering us at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes His answer is that we aren’t meant to know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How different would we react to situations if we humble ourselves and realize that our finite minds can’t possibly fathom God’s infinite wonder?</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today is Thanksgiving Holiday here in America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I challenge ALL of us, no matter what part of the world you are reading this from, to give thanks in the “not so grateful” times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so beyond thankful that God has a plan for my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the tragedies that I have experienced in my life, I finally <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">understand</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Shock</b>: When a circumstance hits me right between the eyes with a metal bat, I know my first reaction is to pray!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throw on my armor and hunker down. </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Denial</b>: Deny the enemy any opportunity to put doubt in my head about Who God IS and where God is as I fight this fight.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Anger</b>: Be angry and sin not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Bargaining</b>: Realize that God’s plan is way better than anything my flesh would to want to negotiate… then revert back to the denial strategy.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Acceptance</b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make this the FIRST reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I live my life surrendered to the Lord, I can more easily accept that, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no matter what</i></b>, He has a perfect plan for my life. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is not an easy feat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are mere mortals, after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good news is that we serve an IMORTAL God Who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Was</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is to come</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He meets us where we are!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">understands </i>how we feel when we are abandoned or rejected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He feels that from the very ones he created!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows what it feels like to lose a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lost His in the most horrific way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows what it’s like to have to turn away from a loved one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had to turn His face from LOVE itself as our sins were nailed to Love’s beaten body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best part is that He also knows victory! NEVER defeat. He wants us to know that victory!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, let’s give thanks knowing that, no matter where we are in our circumstance, we have victory!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will extol the LORD at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all times</i>; <br />
his praise will always be on my lips. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will glory in the LORD; <br />
let the afflicted hear and rejoice. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Glorify the LORD with me; <br />
let us exalt his name together.</span></b></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sought the LORD, and he answered me; <br />
he delivered me from all my fears. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who look to him are radiant; <br />
their faces are never covered with shame. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; <br />
he saved him out of all his troubles. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, <br />
and he delivers them.</span></b></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taste and see that the LORD is good; <br />
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fear the LORD, you his holy people, <br />
for those who fear him lack nothing. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lions may grow weak and hungry, <br />
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come, my children, listen to me; <br />
I will teach you the fear of the LORD. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whoever of you loves life <br />
and desires to see many good days, <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>keep your tongue from evil <br />
and your lips from telling lies. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turn from evil and do good; <br />
seek peace and pursue it.</span></b></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Psalm 34: 1-14</span></b></div><div align="center" style="background: white; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="background: white; border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am so thankful for all of you who read my blog and have decided to take this ride of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bittersweet Insanity</i> with me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be BLESSED!!!!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif_WyxTtiph1Jy9kDo86HbmHAm2lNKeiaP9lozoi8L8Cwrh4pz-EUUsVq25Ppcs5XXNX0zinLiERn6beULalsrqI4oZG9qk4qGyzVtWMvoDYnFh-URhOAC1z4NfnCSnaJj0EkDLLqpA9c/s1600/fall16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif_WyxTtiph1Jy9kDo86HbmHAm2lNKeiaP9lozoi8L8Cwrh4pz-EUUsVq25Ppcs5XXNX0zinLiERn6beULalsrqI4oZG9qk4qGyzVtWMvoDYnFh-URhOAC1z4NfnCSnaJj0EkDLLqpA9c/s200/fall16.jpg" width="126" /></a>Happy Thanksgiving!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-57873455910193648612010-11-16T14:09:00.000-05:002010-11-16T14:09:03.578-05:00A Single Mother of 4 Walks into a Bar... Stop me if you've heard this one<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have a newfound respect for arranged marriages. Think about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A panel of loved ones who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i> me and have my best interest at heart, sift through a stack of eligible suitors and decide which one will be my soul mate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perfect!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t agree??? You must not be a Christian, mid-30s single mom entering back into the dating world!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, I do trust my loved ones <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> much, but I hate dating that much more!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has become so very clear to me how much I have changed since my early 20’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t mean physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously after having a litter of very large babies, I’m not the size 6, B-cup aspiring actress I once was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I’m referring to what lies beneath this fleshy shell; the way I think, the way I feel, the way I react.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a bittersweet reality this weekend.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After three months of skipping his weekends, my ex actually came and picked up the kids last Friday. I was SO ready for some much needed “me” time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to be alone all weekend and the bar scene… well, to be honest I can’t determine if it’s a nightmare or a cruel joke!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, when a close friend of mine invited me to a singles event at her church and I was more than game!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After hearing it was a country/western theme, it became a MUST! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This particular friend and I seem to have fun no matter where we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was confident that regardless of how this event turned out, <strong>we</strong> would have a blast!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Getting Ready</span></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Being cute is a must in ANY single male/female interaction situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This doesn’t change with age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither does tearing through your entire wardrobe to find the perfect outfit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This being a “themed” event, a purchase also had to be made in the form of a plaid button-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very cute <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> theme appropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still feeling like my younger self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">THE POINT OF CHANGE:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>realizing that I needed to color my hair before I showered because a few gray strands decided to shine brighter than the sun through my locks of auburn hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although this was a physical difference, it unlocked the chains that had bound and held my perception hostage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so began a night of revelation.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">A (not so) Grand Entrance</span></i></b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I must admit, I felt pretty cute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even standing next to my friend who is 29 years old, blonde, and very beautiful (did I mention she teaches classes at a local gym???) I still felt secure. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walk into the event, two confident women; cute from head to toe and ready to tear up the dance floor <em>and </em>the mechanical bull!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">REVELATION #1:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve become meek<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The 20ish year old me would have taken center stage as soon as I busted through those doors, or at the very least, would have shared the spot light with my friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I watched as the 35 year old <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> slowed a bit to allow her friend to lead the way. When had I become a follower?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">REVELATION#2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve become reserved and hesitant</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still feeling confident, we made the rounds, greeting the people we knew, being introduced to a few others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even caught the eye of a cute guy or two! As I studied the rows of line dancers who congested the dance floor, I got excited and even said to my friend, “I know this one!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 20ish year old would have bopped her little butt right out there and joined in!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No hesitation, no reservation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as that 20ish year old wanted to burst out, this older, more reserved woman didn’t allow her to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a stick in the mud was NOT how God created me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was it fear? If I went out there and made a fool of myself would I ruin any chance of a guy coming up and talking to me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When did I start letting fear win?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">REVELATION #3:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve started allowing the opinion of others to influence me</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You just can’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">possibly</i> know how every fiber of the 20ish year old inside of me wanted to hop up on that mechanical bull and become Tuff Hedeman, hanging on for 8 seconds of glory!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially after watching my friend “urban” cowgirl up and go airborne at least three of her SIX rides! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But after a few smiles from “Hi My Name Is Jonathan” there was NO WAY the 35 year old prude was going to let little miss 20ish humiliate both of them by climbing their <em>not-size-6-anymore</em> butt on that electric longhorn! Did I lose the shroud of self-confidence adorned just hours earlier?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since when did I allow the opinion of others to dictate my actions?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Happy Trails</span></i></b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the end of the night, my friend had ridden the mechanical bull six times, lined danced several times (even when she didn’t know what she was doing), did the Cotton Eyed Joe, busted a move, out ran the running man, attempted Thriller, and even took her turn down the Soul Train dance line. Believe it or not, I had a blast!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had the BEST time watching her throughout the night!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had my own fun, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t a TOTAL bore! I line danced! I didn’t bust a move or even give a second thought to the running man, but I did do Thriller and even belted out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely woooooorrrrrllllld”</i> to the camera.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And although “Hello My Name is Jonathan” never came up and talked to me, I left the event with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Good Things Come…</span></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reflection is a wonderful thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since last Friday, I’ve had time to sift through the revelations, taking both the good and the bad from each.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually looked up the definition of meek to be sure I truly understood the meaning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Humbly patient</i> is what I read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being meek is something we should all strive for. At the same time I cannot lose my voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most beloved leaders and teachers are those who are humbly patient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, the meek shall inherit the earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a time and place for everything and there is a lot to say about being reserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I attempted the bar scene recently and the lack of reservation in some women is truly grievous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to remain reserve enough to reflect Christ while maintaining a sense of adventure; stepping out in faith instead of living in fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as far as allowing the opinions of other to influence me… there is only ONE opinion that really matters, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if I am striving daily to be in His light, then His light will shine through me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My weakness has always been seeing my self-worth through the eyes of other instead of through the eyes of the One who created me. I will be working on this!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With all of this new insight into myself, I think that I will put off the arranged marriage for now, completely forget the bar scene, continue to go to the singles events at my friends church, surround myself with the people I hold dear (the ones I can still be my goofy 20ish self around), and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wait on the Lord</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easier said than done, I know!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you know what they say… Good things come to those who wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even those who suffer from bittersweet insanity!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t forget to be a blessing!</span></span></div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-84067436138807339202010-11-08T22:42:00.000-05:002010-11-08T22:42:33.697-05:00The Pilot Episode<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are moments in life that stop us cold and make us ask, “Ummm… did that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> just happen?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a bazaar setting that leaves you feeling like you’re living in a TV sitcom. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of these moments happened to me recently.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dating hasn’t been easy for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried dating right after the divorce but quickly realized that I wasn’t ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m finally at a place where I feel that I have healed enough to date without bringing junk into a new relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea how difficult this dating thing was going to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NIGHTMARE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Granted, there were a few that didn’t work simply because we were in two different places in life or wanted different things out of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m actually friends with them now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s those dates that leave you wondering why God would allow this moment to actually take place that births the surreal, TV sitcom moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kind of dates where you are sitting across the table at a restaurant trying desperately to seem interested while frantically negotiating with God in your head!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> <em> </em></span><em>God, if you make the next 30 minutes pass by in 30 seconds I PROMISE I will never gossip again! After I tell everyone about this date of course.</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><em>Lord Jesus, I love you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise I’ll never cry and whine to you about being alone again if you could just please let there be a bomb threat like RIGHT NOW so this date can end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a THREAT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then there are the ones that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">seem</i> to be great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Seemingly</i> great guy, great career, says he‘s a Christian…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MmmHmm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We will call him Bob.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob was interested in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew of Bob but never really considered going out with him because… well, to be completely honest I didn’t think I would be the type of girl Bob would be interested in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is a very good-looking, clean cut, well spoken, successful man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m just a simple girl who measures success in joy and not in money, fame, or toys.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>PAUSE:</strong> Yes, I know I just generalized and stereotyped all good-looking, clean cut, well spoken, successful men and the type of women they date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I do know my worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I am human and do walk in the flesh from time to time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, when Bob confessed to me that he had wanted to ask me out for quite some time because he saw what a “loving and genuine woman” I was, I accepted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was impressed that he saw my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I became very nervous when I found out that he was a successful pilot!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you say OUT OF MY LEAGUE!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Against my better judgment, I pushed those doubts out of my way and took a chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, I AM a princess!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Father is the King of kings!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was strong now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come what may, I knew I would be fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, our first date was set.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He planned a picnic at Hurricane Shoals park.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never been before but a picnic at a park sounded fabulous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I pulled in, the scene took my breath away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the most beautiful patch of land guarded by a rustic split rail fence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the center stands a white, one-room church surrounded by several buildings all relocated from different farms in the county.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All donated to the historical society and preserved so beautifully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked through a covered bridge to a picnic area and ate our lunch next to the river.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It couldn’t have been a more perfect date!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even the conversation was interesting and easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t until we were getting back into our cars that I realized he was sliding into a Mercedes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little uneasy but I wasn’t going to assume things just because he was a pilot… who drove a Mercedes…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Things were going great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was always complimenting me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We spoke on the phone, text, and emailed every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After our third date, I was feeling optimistic yet guarded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was way too smart to just open myself up to someone so quickly!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet things seemed to be going well so I allowed myself to be a little excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The funny thing about focusing on our strengths… the enemy remains focused on our weaknesses.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I received a text from Bob the next day. Yes… a TEXT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately I erased the original text however; a few of the followers of this blog were able read the text first hand and will be able to attest to my interpretation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bob felt it would be best if we didn’t go any further in this “relationship” because he just couldn’t see himself having an intimate relationship with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said that he fell for my heart and the way I truly cared about people but “desire [d] a relationship with someone with a certain physical appearance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He actually said that he wanted to base a relationship on physical appearance and then grow to love their heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob was also kind enough to tell me that he REALLY tried to… oh how did he put it??? Basically, he said he tried to look past my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><strong>way</strong></i> less than perfect body and be attracted to my heart but he just couldn’t do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went on to assume I would be devastated with him not wanting to date me and for that, he was truly sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Stopped me in my tracks.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My response?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, it went something like this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>So, you’re saying that you don’t want to date me because of how I look? Well, you knew what I looked like our first date when you said I was beautiful, and the second and the third.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a lot stronger than you give me credit for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, I’d rather have a man fall in love with the size of my heart than the size of my ass!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good luck finding the perfect woman!</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was a little harsh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously I didn’t pray before I sent it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend of mine said I should have told him, <em>“Well I fell for you because you had a great body but your heart stinks!”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(giggle)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As the day went on, the weight of his words became a burdensome yoke on my shoulders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I could care less that Pilot Bob didn’t want to date me. It was the reasons he gave that stripped my armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Realizing what the enemy was doing, I began to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ended up writing Pilot Bob one last message that went something like this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>I promise I’m not a crazy stalker chick who is going to keep trying to make contact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This WILL be my last communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know the saying honesty is the best policy? Yeah… not so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m fine that you don’t want to date me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t really help who we are attracted to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I am upset about is that you made me doubt the woman God has created me to be that is not acceptable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say that you aren’t ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say that you just don’t think we are compatible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">anything</b> other than "you aren’t good enough".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have a daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would you feel if a man told her what you told me? Better yet, how do you think she would feel being told that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wasn’t expecting a response from Pilot Bob and I never received one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had equipped myself to safeguard my heart and my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even in doing so, the enemy focused on the one thing I have always struggled with most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s how wars are won.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finding the opponents weakness and striking when they are most vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here is the twist. THIS war has already been won!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I already have victory!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, maybe my armor has a few more dents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I going to let this destroy me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those dents … they’re just battle scars of a warrior princess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And to be clear, this was NOT male-bashing. I know that there are GREAT men out there! I believe that they are all already taken but I could be wrong! (insert laughter)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be blessed and remember to be a blessing!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div>Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207504808237617928.post-51200962556824491702010-11-04T21:24:00.000-04:002010-11-04T22:23:03.805-04:00I Love Fall! I just need to remind myself to get back up sometimes...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fall is, without a doubt, my favorite time of year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The colors, the cool crisp air, the smells all around, the way the wind dances with my hair… it all just brings the sweetest joy to my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s ironic, really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should be downing a bottle of Prozac and hibernating for the next 3 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every major tragedy that I have experienced in my life has occurred in the autumn months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The three most damaging to my heart being: the sudden death of my father, the passing of my 6 year old nephew who was diagnosed with leukemia and tragically caught a virus that his little body couldn’t fight off, and the day my husband came home from work and announced that he was leaving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would seem that on the “tragedy scale”, the loss of my dad and nephew wouldn’t even compare to my husband leaving! Losing them would be way worse, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a wonderful moment in the movie <em>P.S. I Love You</em> that puts it all in perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Holly is mourning the loss of her husband. In a heated conversation with her mother, Holly tells her mother that she couldn’t possible understand how she feels. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Holly: My husband died. He was taken. He didn't wanna go, he didn't wanna leave.</em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Her mother: Yes, my husband wanted to leave. And it's so much easier</em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>being abandoned by choice, is it?</em></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Perspective.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The tears fallen over my dad and Casey were so full of sorrow and they <em>still</em> fall from time to time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is a peace in knowing that it’s only a temporary separation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe some of you will understand when I say there is no word in any language that can appropriately describe the feeling of your husband, the man you love and gave your heart to, walking over you (literally) as he walked out the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It changed my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It changed the lives of my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were thrown onto a course that I NEVER imagined we would be traveling on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here we are and we are making the best of it!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, you would think fall would be a dreaded time for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Keep in mind I only listed the top <strong>three</strong> tragedies).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I guess it’s just another reflection of God’s love. Even through the worst times in our life, if we look beyond our brokenness, God’s beauty remains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His Word is true and firm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The leaves still change and the wind still dances with my hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s been over three years since I became a single mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LOTS of healing and growing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing (a passion of mine) has played an intricate part of the healing process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recently my life has become a little more interesting as I stepped back into the bazaar world of dating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friends and family have enjoyed the paths this insane life has taken me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what better way to get through all my moments of bittersweet insanity than to write about it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise if you follow me on this journey, there will never be a dull moment!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe… <em>just maybe</em>… we’ll all learn a little something. </span></div>Be BLESSED!!! And don't forget to be a blessing!Super SMOFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02191587616382313293noreply@blogger.com7